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Posted: April 16, 2014, 4:03 PM
my son is 21 his battleling drug addiction and i dont know how to support him im trying but i may be doing wrong things that i think will help him but im also afraid of his anger what can i do to help where or who do we look for i dont wanna loose my son please
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Posts: 1584
Joined: November 6, 2005
Posted: April 16, 2014, 6:58 PM
I can answer that by taking care of yourself and putting down healthy boundaries-don't enable him let him find his way. Alanon helped me more than words can say. It taught me how to put my needs first and take care of myself because I would lose myself and obsess over my son and it made his addiction worse. It's interesting that the families that work on themselves help the addict more than the ones that focus on the addict and their issues. The more he does for himself the better it will be for him. Suggested reading on this site is Let me fall and King baby syndrome and posts that discuss enabling.
I think it's important to let him know that you love him and that you hope he chooses to do the right things Don't lecture, don't give unwanted opinions, don't try to fix him. You can't. The only person you can control is yourself. All of these things took me literally years to learn. I have been "dealing" with my son's addiction for a decade now. Right now today he is good. I spoke with him and he looked good, sounded good and I am grateful for that. When he behaves in ways that make me upset and tries to play the victim, blame game all those things, I detach. The best gift you can give him is to pray for him, take care of yourself and let him suffer natural consequences because in those consequences could be his bottom that makes him not want to use anymore. HOpe this helped. God bless you and your son. -------------------- All things are possible through God. Ask and you shall receive Seek and you shall find Knock and the door shall be opened unto you When you pray, you activate God's power. Every time you pray something happens! The faithless are like an empty vessel and are more vulnerable to events that are out of their control. Pray at stop lights. Without faith it is impossible to please Him. When you pray, pray for His will. God is Good............all the time!!!!! | ||
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Posted: April 26, 2014, 7:45 PM
I am a sister of an addict. Today he finally officially told me what he has been doing. I am not shocked, I knew anyway. :-(
When I left him today I just said 'I love you, please call me if you need me' Is that right? I am not judging him, or wish to. But I feel so helpless. He is in such pain. Like you, wanting, needing to make him better. I am so sad, and I don't want to make it worse by loving him too much. :-( Needing some guidance too. x | ||
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