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Waiting/living


Posts: 2
Joined: March 28, 2014


Posted: March 28, 2014, 11:34 AM
Met a great guy. Charming, intelligent, sweet. He even brought his son on first date. He was romantic and attentive on subsequent dates. After a month this all seemed to fall part, he confessed his alcohol and H addiction over texts. Then after that nothing was about us any more. It was about him wanting to recover. He started missing work, didnt see his son on weekend which is his visitation with him. It's like he crumbled before my eyes. almost like he exhausted himself trying to upkeep an image of no vices to suddenly he refers to himself as a junkie. He then later reconnected with his sponsor and said he had to share some info with me. That the sponsor said no new relationships at start of recovery. So it was a peaceful decision. I obliged to anything that would help his recovery. In the back of my head I didnt know if this was just his polite way of breaking up with me or did he mean it when he said he will reach out to me in a couple of months, He made sure that I understood not to wait for him but that he hoped I would be available when he is ready. I guess I was just wondering, what are the chances he will come back, and does it really take months? If he does come back I would be so happy :) this all happened this morning. So the long wait begins. The final texts were both of us saying "this is my final text, I will miss you"


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004


Posted: March 28, 2014, 3:05 PM
Recovery is life long. No one recovers in a couple of months. He's got a lot of work to do. The rule of thumb is, no new relationships for a year. Depends on his sponsor and if he is committed to working a program that doesn't include, doing it his way.

Move on. Find some happiness somewhere else. If in a year, he's still clean and sober and you're still available..see what happens. But, you really should give him a chance to do this for him, not for what your relationship could be in 2 months.

And, his relationship with his son is a priority. Not a relationship with you. Sorry if that seems harsh but I suspect this guy has a long way to go.

--------------------
I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.


Posts: 2
Joined: March 28, 2014


Posted: March 28, 2014, 3:18 PM
Thank you cowgirl.
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