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Husband Lying, Denying Porn Addicted
Posted: February 13, 2013, 9:06 AM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



My husband of 27 years threw us away in 6 months! He's been doing meth, lies about it, I found his 'track phone' he uses for drug dealing and flirting with his methwhores. We got into a huge fight, AGAIN, he threatened to kill me. He's is sitting in jail again tonight. I have had it with the constant lies!

He swears he only has done it a few times BULLs***. He swears he hasnt cheated, I don't believe him at all!! He just started this 6 mos ago, since Christmas? Jail Twice now, a domestic cuz I confronted him and he smacked me around, 2 OFP's, he was fired from his job, our grown children want nothing to do with him, and I sent him to jail again tonight. I'm done! I will file for divorce tomorrow and he can go rot in his method up, methwhore filled world!

Support and love an addict? Hell NO! Kick him to the curb, loser. I've worked my whole life and he pisses away our savings in 7 months? Buying cars for whores, treating the s*** people to Meth? Screw that. Die in the gutter a******!
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 9:15 AM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



Oh! And the porn I found, I'm so angry right now I hate him.
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 9:35 AM


Posts: 8548
Joined: April 24, 2007



MamaJoe, protect whatever is left of your financial assets and cancel your credit cards or at the least have your name removed from them. Porn and meth seem to go together judging from the posts here. If you've been having relations with him then please get yourself tested for STDs, HIV, and Hep C, another protective measure. Meth causes psychosis as evidenced by his violent behavior.

I do understand your anger, but don't let the anger rule you or it may keep you from making good decisions for yourself.

Peace ~ MomNMore

--------------------
You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

user posted image
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 9:49 AM


Posts: 2305
Joined: February 20, 2010



i totally get it
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 7:30 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



He apparently has been running around with strippers and low life's. He swears he never had sex with anyone, but really? Really? Kiss my butt! I am very very angry right now! And oh yes I cut him off financially at the Holidays when my world blew up. I think at first ibwas polarized in shock, then I cried a few weeks, I wanted to believe him SO SO bad. Then I read that phone he 'doesnt' have last night and I flipped out! I stormed into the garage or Methden as I call it - that pisses him off, I smashed it to the concrete floor and when he turned around? Dayum! He was mad as hell and his eyes were all glassy and freaky! He blew up at me and the rage was insane, he threatened to kill me!!! I walked out as fast as I could and had him hauled out and threw his a** in jail. Ive had it with the lies, all the nasty porn I've found, I'm not a prude, but this stuff is nasty! I found girls clothes in his car, the 'evidence' is mounting like a landfill, of course it is always someone else's. I shut off his 'real' cellphone, (already smashed the drug/w**** one) and one of his little sluts actually called ME today, at first looking for him, then LAUGHED at me! At first I was stunned! Then it dawned on me, I MAKE THE MONEY HERE, not him! I have crippled daddy warbucks, no phone, no money, no credit cards and no home. I lauged right back at her, and said 'you sure backed the wrong horse darlin, he's broke, homeless and he's all yours.'. But inside? Im mad as hell!
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 7:35 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



I'm also incredibly sad at times. My heart gets heavy and I cry. It's such a mixed bag of emotions. I loved the real him, but this METHHEAD is ugly and heartless. Our children are so angry. He actually told me he was going to do everything he could to destroy the relationship I have with my kids! It's crazy.
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Posted: February 13, 2013, 9:52 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



When he left last night, I went through his car and found other women's clothing! He just had cleaned it yesterday! Plus mail for her! The mail was in a car he bought and gave to her! She never turned over the title, got pulled over no insurance etc etc and it went back to the original owner who called ME and then said my hubby had called him and wanted to come and get her things! He just came with the sheriff to get a few things. I had hung her s*** on his rear view mirror, draped it over his steering wheel. He was acting all nicey to the sheriff, yes sir, no sir all that nonsense. It made me look foolish. The sheriff came to me before they left and I started to cry. 27 years! He started this Meth nonsense last July, and ruined our family in 6 months! How can he NOT care??? How can he not care how angry and hurt and humiliated we all are?? Now?? The kicker? He's at least staying with one if his NICE friends and family who are going through an issue with their daughter. But why? Was he have g sex with these whores? I'm sick. Just sick! I get incredibly angry, depressed, numb. I know I'm making no sense and rambling. But everything out of his mouth is a lie! He has women texting and calling that drug phone, on his phone with our family plan he has women under different names! Low life drug women! Then denies and tells everyone that I'm a w****!!! WTF???
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Posted: February 14, 2013, 4:31 PM


Posts: 47
Joined: August 14, 2012



I am sorry to hear what you are going through MamaJoe. It sounds to me like your husband is not in his right mind due to the Meth use. I'm no expert however. I'm glad you were able to come here to get your feelings out. Have you ever been to an Al-Anon meeting? They really are very helpful as they help to keep focus on YOU and not the addict. The only person you can change in this situation is you. Time to give yourself some TLC.
Busca
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Posted: February 14, 2013, 6:56 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



Right now I am concentrating on cleaning up my house, getting things ready to put in a storage unit for safe keeping - basically emptying out my house. I travel for work so I know the second I hop a plane more things will vanish. So, EVERYTHING is going except a matress and one lamp, and the 'junk' I am taking it ALL.

I have learned when I have been out of town, there have been numerous 'methwhores' hanging out in our garage. It sickens me. He swears he's never cheated, but if not, what was with the flirty text messages? Last week I had a OFP on him, he begged me to let him come home, he said we really needed to clear the air, and he said he would be honest though it may hurt. I said ok, as soon as he came home? When we started talking? Same vague answers and 'I don't know' s*** he had been spewing the past few weeks. He blew up my phone last week to get home. Begged me. So, with all these 'whores' and crap, on top of this Meth is he cheating too?

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Posted: February 14, 2013, 11:02 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



Tonight is bad. I keep remembering our life, raising kids, holidays, fun things and times. I've cried all day. My feelings are all jumbled up, anger, incredible anger, then sadness and an all consuming hurt. I feel so depressed.
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Posted: February 15, 2013, 9:55 AM


Posts: 88
Joined: November 1, 2012



Hi MamaJoe,
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. You're definitely in the right place on this forum though, every single person here can relate, so I'm glad you post so often.

Its okay to cry. Often times, I feel like crying doesn't solve anything but when I said that on here, I was told that it's okay. You need some sort of outlet for your emotions.

Remember that, at this point, your own well-being is most important right now. Abandoning your husband may seem like the cruel thing to do, but if he realizes he has lost everything it becomes the kick he needs to try and put his life back together. Just remember not to let your emotions cloud your judgement of the situation. Its okay to get emotional, just not during major decision making times.

I'm praying for you and I wish you the best!

--Lindsay

--------------------
Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I just
Could not believe
She was the same girl i
Fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to
Get high
I sat down on my couch
And cried
Yelling oh mama please
Help me
Wont you hold my hand

And
Let her cry
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 3:21 AM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



Thank you for the support. I've been packing up the house. It breaks my heart, but no way I let it all be sold for drugs. I've cried alot more today. It does help, I am not angry right now, more numb and sad. But I'm doing what needs to be done. I'm getting all my things protected as I leave for business in a 3 weeks. I really don't care what he will think right now. I simply need sleep. I can't sleep or eat. This is so hard! For my kids I hope he realizes what he has done and tries to fix it. I dont think I can ever forgive him.
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 3:27 AM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



I have to empty the house into storage, he will sell things and no way I let that happen. I rented a large unit and hired a moving company to come and get it all. I refuse to leave all our belongings at the mercy of methheads! No way! My children are all grown up and they support my decisions on this. All our pets will be gone and the whole house will be empty! Screw him! At least when I decide to settle somewhere I will have it all! He can enjoy the gutter. The lying, cheating son of a b**** METHHEAD!
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 3:29 AM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



As an FYI, my kids are taking the pets. I'm
Not deserting them.
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 10:47 AM


Posts: 2305
Joined: February 20, 2010



i think you are very smart for storing what is yours, leave what is his, including the anger about the meth and other women. Anger is good but it eats at your insides, and i will bet alot more for you than him. It is very very hard not to track him, ie the cell calls. I did that for years with my son, seperate however you have to so you cannot even look at those, it isnt worth it, you already know what is going on.
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 9:27 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



Do they ever get better? I hear he has lost not only his 'drug' friends cuz I cut him off financially, but his true friends have turned away as well, he was fired, the kids won't talk to him, he's kicked out of the house - he snuck in and stole food from me yesterday. Seems the druggies were using him for a place to get high only (our garage) when I pulled the pin on that and cut off the money, they vanished. He is at rock bottom. I winder when he will realize that? I pray so hard he does. I pray he gets the help he desperately needs. He has court fir his assault on me this week. I hope they put him on probation and start drug testing him, he has another hearing early March for threatening to kill me and interfering with a 911 call. Either way, I'm packing and getting my stuff out of the house. I sent him a text saying to let us know when he decides he needs rehab and we will help, and be his biggest supporters. But until then we don't want him and his Meth around. Was that cruel? I hate this.
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Posted: February 16, 2013, 10:08 PM


Posts: 8548
Joined: April 24, 2007



It might actually be good for him to feel the real consequences of his actions...find his bottom if he has one. My daughter also lost all of her friends and her job because of her drug use, even her NA/AA friends stopped trying because she was so clearly bent on self-destruction and it was not good their own sobriety to be around her...that plus it always someone's else's fault that she was miserable.

Let him find his way. Support doesn't need to mean throwing money at rehab centers...he can go to NA, he go to the Salvation Army, he can call social services and ask for help for himself...that's usually best with an adult...let him own what he has done, own the addiction, then own the recovery.

I understand you are angry...anger is inner fear in disguise..but it will eat you alive if you keep feeding it. Get to an AlAnon meeting to find yourself a little peace in the middle of the insanity. Living with an active addict can mess you up and you need as much help as he does. Keep praying for him and leave the rest to him...tell him you know he can do the next right thing and step away.

Peace ~ MomNMore

PS I thought you cut off his phone? How did you text him? momg is right, stop snooping...it will drive you nuts...you don't need to know the details.

--------------------
You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

user posted image
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Posted: February 21, 2013, 11:56 PM


Posts: 22
Joined: February 13, 2013



He is FURIOUS with me as the OFP is ordering him
Into rehab, I won't drop the Domestic Assault so he WILL be on probation, which will include lots of drug tests. We have tried to get him to do home drug tests and he refuses, he will do one if I take a polygraph test to see if I cheated on him! I'm dead serous! That's why he won't take a drug test! (no I have not cheated, but he's telling everyone I did!). It's insane! He is still hanging out with Meth people. But swears he's clean, im not buying into that line. I said it's so simple, do the drug tests! He's given everything up because of drugs and is blaming ME!!!
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Posted: February 22, 2013, 12:32 PM


Posts: 47
Joined: August 14, 2012



Sorry Mama - he's deep in the insanity of addiction. Stay out of his insanity and work on yourself. Hold you ground, your YES means YES and your NO means NO.
Busca
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Posted: February 22, 2013, 3:20 PM


Posts: 970
Joined: November 19, 2005



Dear Moma,
Ditto to Busca s post. It is the insanity of addiction. He will blame everything and everyone. He will bring up issues that will keep the focus off him. Don't get wrapped up in the spider web he is building for you. He is trying to control you-"If you do this, I'll do that."
There is a saying I love: "What others think of me is none of my business." You have nothing to prove to no one.
There is only one reason he is hanging around with the Meth heads and it isn't to convince them to go to rehab. Stay strong. Take care of you. Did you find an Alanon meeting?
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