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An Open Letter To My Family (from An Addict)
Posted: August 9, 2010, 8:45 AM


Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007



I received this pamphlet at a Naranon meeting.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY FAMILY

I am a drug addict. I need help -- from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from an addict who found recovery in Narcotics Anonymous, and from God.

Don't solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for you.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue -- whether I'm loaded or not. It may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents me from keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are my only way of postponing pain. Don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made -- stick to it.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't allow your anxiety for me -- make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.

Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as the using continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. Find Nar-Anon, whose groups exist to help the families of drug-abusers.

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

--------------------
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter.

Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to.

Take what you need & leave the rest.

I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years.

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jesus loves us.

LAFFStore
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Posted: August 9, 2010, 8:53 AM


Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007



From the same Nar-anon pamphlet:

DO'S & DON'TS

Do Note the effect the addict has on each member of the family.
Do Always encourage (their) attempts to seek help.
Do Remember to see the good in others and yourself.
Don't Accept guilt for another persons acts.
Don't Nag, argue, lecture, or recall past mistakes.
Don't Overprotect, cover up, or rescue from the consequences.
Don't Neglect yourself or be a door mat.
Don't Forget addiction is an illness, not a moral issue.
Do Allow other people to accept their own responsibilities.
Don't Manipulate or make idle threats.
Do Involve yourself with the activities of Nar-anon (or Al-anon)
Do Learn to be open and honest.
Don't Yearn for perfection in yourself or others.
Do Grow day by day, by reading Nar-anon (or al-anon) literature.
Do Remember to focus on your OWN reactions and attitudes.
Don't Overlook the growth opportunities of a crisis.
Don't Under estimate the importance of release with love.
Do Please try to manage your anxieties one day at a time.
Don't Start the recovery program with the addict. Start with the family at Nar-Anon (or Al-anon) meetings and learn the difference between destructive and constructive help.

The first letter of each spells out Nar-Anon Family Groups. (Didn't feel like highlighting all that).


--------------------
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter.

Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to.

Take what you need & leave the rest.

I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years.

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jesus loves us.

LAFFStore
  Top
Posted: October 26, 2014, 2:33 PM


Posts: 15
Joined: October 26, 2014



Nice posts here. Thanks for sharing.
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