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Posted: October 30, 2014, 2:20 PM
My name is Ricardo. I am a father of five amazing kids and in a relationship with a wonderful woman. Ive been smoking weed since I was 16; I am 26 now. Its hard for me to even write about my experiences with my addiction but I'll express it the best way I could. I am a hardcore stoner. I literally smoke everyday and when I cannot I freak out and destroy everything. I don't mean literally but I mean my relationships, I lost jobs and my savings. I am currently living under my moms roof with my girlfriend and my 2 sons living pay check to pay check because of my addiction. My girlfriend is amazing, she deserves better. Once upon a time she was a stoner. It was one of our commonalities. We quit together last year for the first time officially. I was doing good for awhile the longest time I ever went cold turkey was due to incarecaration for 14 days. As soon as I was out. I was back to smoking but during my new found sobereity last year I felt anew, rejuvenated and back in tuned with society. I was like that for a month nd five days. Meanwhile, I was fighting the temptations. It wasn't the temptations of "oh I need a blunt". It was more of peer pressure from family members who live with me. It eventually brought me back in and I hate it. I feel cornered by the influence but I can't comprehend if I have such a hate for it and I battled the temptations before why its so hard to quit it again. As I write this I'm stuck in a rock and a hard place because I have a bowl with roachies from yesterday; yet my conscience for about two days already been in constant confliction. I want this to end, its just life is so depressing. So many times I had made broken promises to my girlfriend. Its killing my heart cause she truly loves me but I don't know how can she if I'm such a piece of sh**. My family has always been none caring besides my mom but I wanna be able to get out and glide on my own without being disabled with this disease. The jobs I lose them because I smoke and get lazy the next day and irresponsibly call out. I'm just over it. I want my silver lining.
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Posted: January 21, 2015, 2:06 AM
wanting to quit is the first step dude, now you just gotta do it!
for me quitting was just about getting over those first major urges, then i noticed the cravings getting weaker everyday until they eventually went away. for me, watching Breaking Bad from beginning to end kinda helped, so i reckon maybe try getting into a massive boxset to distract you through those first few days! read about the placebo effect & how buddists get themselves high by controlling the way they inhale & exhale. just good luck dude, maybe get an ecig if you smoke nicotine too, thats more addictive! | ||
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