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Posted: October 25, 2013, 10:32 PM
Hi all
I wanted to hear from everyone regarding how recovery has changed your life. I want the good and the bad. How were things before and how are things now. I suppose the purpose of this is to show any newcomers that not only is there life after cannabis use but there is a wonderful life waiting for anyone who chooses to grab on to it with both hands. I am clean and sober almost 2 years now and this is what recovery has given me. 1. I have my brain back. I no longer go around like a zombie afraid to talk to anyone. I no longer feel stupid and generally useless. 2. I have my family back. I didn't realize it when I was using but I had become very distant from my parents, siblings and my girlfriend (now my wife). That is one of the best gifts I have been given. 3. I can enjoy doing stuff without being high. I used to think I could not watch a movie without smoking cannabis. I remember going out on a fishing trip with my friends and I was the only one who thought it a good idea to get high. Anyway, that is just two examples but the list goes on. I would be here all night if I were to talk about a quarter of them. The point is I don't have to do that anymore. It was like I had this big boulder I had to carry around everywhere cos i thought i couldn't live without it. Then over a period of time i found out that I didnt have to carry this boulder around. I could just put it down. Over time I realized I actually enjoy activities much more without it. I hope that makes sense. 4. I learned that I am an OK guy. I am no longer so selfish, I no longer have to go about lying to people all the time. I am in college at the moment. Final year engineering and I am planning on getting a 1.1. I don't know what that is in the U.S. but its the best grade you can get where I am from. I'm not saying this to brag I just want to point out that when I was using I couldn't hold down jobs, couldn't get an education (or any exams I did pass I was getting 40% barely) and had trouble getting out of bed and now I am striving to top grades. I remember when I first quit I though I had done permanent damage to my memory and would suffer mentally for the rest of my life. I'm glad that is not the case. 5. I am now married and expecting my first child early next year. As long as I can stay clean and sober I know I can be a good dad and be able to provide a good and happy life for my child. 6. I can sleep. That is something I forgot about till recently....f***, that was awful! I sleep like a baby now....until early next year when there is actually a baby in my house. lol 7. I can feel emotions again. I can now actually feel proper love for my wife and family. I can feel fear and not that awful anxiety, I can feel sad and that is OK too cos everyone feels sad sometimes and happiness does comes back. When i was using it was just a dull nothingness followed by anxiety. Now one bad thing. When I first quit I could not stand the sight of food...now I cant get enough. I could do with losing 2 stone. But no ones perfect. That is all I can think of right now. I wish I could really describe what recovery has done for me. Its a new life. Something I only dreamed about in active addiction and it was given to me for free. If anyone out there is struggling just remember that it gets better and there is support out there. For me, I got sober by going to tons and tons of NA meetings. Sometimes its a drag but its a hell of a lot better then the alternative.This way I am stopped and every day I make a choice to stay stopped. I am not saying that it is the only way but It is the only way that worked for me. I could stop but I could not stay stopped any other way. I would love if some of you can add to this. I love hearing peoples success stories. Love and good wish's | ||
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