| post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: February 17, 2015, 9:55 PM
I am miserable. I want to stop but can't. What do I do I am going crazy.
| ||
Posts: 6
Joined: February 17, 2015
Posted: February 17, 2015, 10:27 PM
Hello, I know the feeling... am here to talk to.. I walked where you are and it feels awful I know.... but its momentarily.... talk to me ok... I couldnt do it alone and am still battling the aftermath effects of my drug usage... it's a battle am willing to fight with all my might to stay sane for myself... so my best advice is fight with all your might and seek therapy friends get out of your comfort... I know its awful to go out its awkward but do it its ok your not alone..
| ||
|
Posted: February 21, 2015, 1:20 AM
Hello, I can really relate to what your going threw. im 25 n ive been in my addiction for about 7 ys.staight I had been n outpatients programs to impatient to sober livings all in whitch I couldn't last because I felt like couldn't handle it, I have been a chronic relapser even through my progams which my last was recent...I had gotten kickedout for not staying clean...the empty feeling that consumed me when I tried to get clean seemed impossible to get threw, I had gone impatient reluctantly but was able to mange a month. that fresh feeling was amazing it was pure..i left n once again relapsed, and of course had to come down. it was horrible I so badly wanted to stop n feel the way I felt just a couple months before. I did extreme baby steps to get the motivation to get up and finally be done for good. the pain n heartache I put my family threw I didn't see or want to, id been numb for so long i didn't think i could have empathy. the moments i lost with my son because i was choosing the high over being a mother. thank god i have my parents at that time but that's no excuse. i never had a cps case thank god but was very close with my 2nd baby.those feelings i had numbed i knew i needed to face n forgive myself...easer said than done. not knowing who i was anymore i dint know where to begin at all..i recall surrendering even tho i was doubtful but thought what could i lose.i had lost my hope n faith long before ,i heard peoples stories that if your open n willing change wil happen. even n doubt all i said to now I call my higher power is please help me, im ready! im powerless over my life n drug help me! n no instant change happen right then n there, but i started taking charge slowly..baby steps. with that n dong my foot wrk i got a 2nd chance.i got back in my program today i have relapsed recently n the comedown never changes it mght get worse but neve better, but this is battle we fight everyday n second,n im going to keep fighting for my recovery,even if u fall always get back up n forgive uself n keep trying.i go to n.a now and listen n sometimes i don't wanna go but those are the days i hear something that helped me. just try it out. high or not ive learned they dont judge, i made a small promise to myself everymoring that i would try to stay clean, take it min by min n do the best I can. even if I have a bad horrible day jus kno if u were able to stay clean everthing is mangeable...I never use tal the way I do now, I was stuburn, lost, empty n negative. but the miserable feelin will pass then its up to u if ur gunna start fresh or feel like that when the high is gone
This post has been edited by Tessa11 on February 21, 2015, 3:35 AM | ||
|
Posted: February 21, 2015, 3:35 AM
im here to listen whenever u wanna talk or vent
| ||
|
| post replypost new topic |