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Posts: 0
Joined: August 5, 2014
Posted: August 5, 2014, 7:10 PM
I know usage is a self choice and the "it was in front of me and the urge was too much has been played to death to". Been on meth off and on since age 16 and I'm 37 now. Have quit for some periods of time but always go back. The body spasms and the high overall have just gotten to that point that I can't speak right and just feel alienated from everyone and everything. Its affecting my home life again and things just are going to s***. My roommate drops these snotty little comments in when he is talking and I was ready to snap on him. f***,I know just quitting is obviously the thing to do but anything else that anyone has done or knows of to fight it please post. I'm f***ing writing this and coming down so excuse the rambling here and this is out of desperation too. Feeling f***ing broken like a deer in head lights. I want to feel normal again.
This post has been edited by TacomaSlumdog on August 5, 2014, 7:13 PM | ||
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Posted: August 6, 2014, 4:56 PM
I'm in a very similar boat. I have been using meth since I was 17 I am now 35. I dont even know where to start. Now thinking about it I don't share much in regards to my addiction, I guess it's easier to convince myself that I don't have a problem. Which I do know is completely untrue, my addiction is fully functional and well hidden. At least I thought. I'm looking for some guidance to show me a way. I don't know where to start. Even though I've been through treatment programs, I inpatient behavior programs, na meetings. I'm guess I'm looking to be honest I'm need the right questions.
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Posted: December 5, 2014, 4:19 AM
I understand what you're going through too I feel the same way every single day I tell myself that I want to stop and I never stop don't think that you're alone cause you're not.
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: December 5, 2014, 8:41 AM
Here was my problem .....
I always dreamed of being clean & sober but my problem was I couldn't live clean & sober. When I quit drinking I found out why I began drinking in the first place. My problems didn't stop when I put the bottle/drugs down.... they real problems seemed to begin, to become overwhelmingly real. I found that if I wanted to quit... and stay quit... I had to commit to AA/NA. All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: April 4, 2015, 4:19 AM
we all are fighting the same beasts. im ok for a couple weeks 3 max, but then im off and runnin. im just so tired of it. my use has destroyed my relationship with my children which is so incredibly devastating to me. i have recently became a first time grandma, and when she was first born just looking at her face made me want to stay clean, . and i did up until bout month 1/2 ago. shes now 6mo old and my daughter wont let her be around me when im using. this little girl is center of my whole being, why cant i put the s*** down. so anywho shes the one driving me to write this post. maybe its my first step to recovery again. thanks for listening and not judging.
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