Posted: August 10, 2013, 5:41 AM
Where do I even start? I am married to my best friend with 3 beautiful girls. We have 7 girls together only one of which is ours. We have been married for 5 1/2 years. My husband, Ronnie, was strung out on ice when he showed up on my door step ready to clean up and do anything necessary to take care of me and my girls. We smoked pot but he didn't touch ice again for 4 years. We have been through so much never a moments peace. By the time it was over we lost all of our kids aside from the one we have together. And then after fighting cancer for 6 years Ronnie's stepdad passed. He finally couldn't take anymore and relapsed. After a short time he brought it home offered it to me. Stupid me I said bring it on. Before long we had spun out of control. We lost our home, jobs, animals, and sanity. Now we are staying at family's place on a covered porch with our daughter. Ice is everywhere we look. We have always argued but it has turned into hate and anger. Our arguments have become physical. I love this man more than life, but I can't live like this. I put a lot of blame on him for what has happened for what happens still. When it comes down to it I am as guilty as him. I want to save him for our child, for him, for me. I know before I can help him I have to help myself. I don't trust anyone anymore including him and me. I am ashamed, embarrassed, confused, mad, hurt, horrified and so much more. GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT!!!