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Posted: July 29, 2013, 12:09 PM
Hi, I am getting worse when it comes to using meth, I lost my job before due to using of meth, I had recovered but now I do have a stable job relapse happened. At first once a week and now its like 3-4 times a week, it doesnt affect my job yet but I am getting addicted to porn. (Yes thats what I do when Im high) The feeling is euphoric and now my dosage has just doubled. HELP ME PLEASE!! It's like afterwork while driving I always get these cravings. I dont want to be like this, I could control it before but now I think ots starting tp consume me. Someone please help me. Thanks.
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Posts: 1
Joined: August 2, 2013
Posted: August 2, 2013, 11:49 PM
I wish I could help.... Cause then I would be able to help myself.... My heart goes out to you.
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Posted: August 3, 2013, 10:35 PM
Hi! I have posted this for almost like a week now, sonce then I HAVE BEEN CLEAN!!! I know and I feel myself, Im self motivating, deleting my addict contacts and deleting them in my life, I am now ver appreciative of what I have right now, I am so blessed and I dint see that when I was using. The only person that can help you is you yourself, You try it Im not sayong that I am now successful frol withdrawal but I am taking it step by step, little by little, try browsing this forum abd theis stories, It struck me and I dont wanna end up losing everyone I love because of this addiction. Hope it'll help you too :)
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Posted: August 14, 2013, 2:18 AM
Why do I relapse.. I hate it. My life is a blessing right now and I cant trust myself to not screw it up
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Posted: August 14, 2013, 6:52 AM
IT NEEDS TOTAL DETERMINATION TO NOT USE AGAIN. USING AND ABUSING IS THE SAME THING. I ALMOST RELAPSED JUST NOW, BUMPED INTO MY SOURCE AND HE SHOWED ME THE s***! I ALMOST TOOK IT, GOOD THING I HAVE STRONG CONTROL ON MYSELF, IVE GONE THIS FAR, WHY WOULD I MESS IT ALL UP AGAIN? THINK ABOUT IT, EVERY SINGLE ADDICT ENDS UP WITH NOTHING. IF YOUR LIFE IS A BLESSING RIGHT NOW, WELL IT WILL ALL BE GONE.
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Posted: October 18, 2013, 8:07 AM
What's happening in my life, Lord? Why do I have to go thru this? How come I became weaker and weaker instead of being stronger? Why can't I stop this madness? I don't have self control anymore! I know what's right but I keep on swerving to the other route. I know I'm stronger than this, O did it before but why can't I do it now? Despite every threat for myself, I keep continuing on choosing the wrong path! I may not be a bad person but sure I am an abusive fellow. Is it because I lack physical intercourse so now I am so much enjoying the sensation of having to have every woman that I fantasize while I am high. I'm a self confessed drig addict and things seemed to be inbalanced these past few weeks? Months? Instead of pouring my enegy into plannin my future I do such evil things! Please help!
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Posted: October 24, 2013, 10:40 PM
To Dextor....... I was most shocked when I read the truth in your post about using meth and getting addicted to Porn. I also struggle with the after shame of these effects from meth. Im not sure if its the meth I am addicted to or the " alone time" porn obsession that it creates. If I'm not using, I very rarely, if not at all watch porn to self stimulate. Well I guess its a common problem in a lot of male meth users. I feel so degraded after this. keeps on happening and I am at the end of all my self help resorses. I am now looking at going to a rehabilitation centre. The only problem with this is, what do I tell my 12 yr old son (that I have raised on my own since he was 3). I am forced to make the choice of making him stay with his Mum during this time, of recovery. But what do I tell him for the reasoning behind this? I know I am a wonderfull person and father when I am not in the clutches of this messed up drug. Just wish I would just leave it alone for good when I manage to get clean for a decent amount of time. I have been an addict for about 18 yrs off and on with the longest clean period being 15 mths. well I just wanted to say your not alone with this problem, and I hope that you can maintain the strength to say no to it. all the best. P.S. have read a few interesting articles on the development of a vaccine to block the effects of the drug on the brain, thus worrenting usage pointless. keep on google searching this vaccine.....There is hope in the future for those who cant manage to rustle up the strength and maintain the strength. Good luck
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Posted: November 3, 2013, 11:53 AM
Hey bro, Im glad someone I mean someone understood me. I think I love the alone time and the porn, I also have 2 kids that lives with their mom, I see them everytime, support them and love them to death, I have a girlfriend that's abroad that's why I think I got hooked once again. I have been clean for almost a week now and MAN, it's really hard to fight the urge of using esp. When your source us just a text away. Im doing good as of now, I keep asking help from God to not feel the need of using. I have a stable job and I want to excel on what I am doing, I dont wanna end up as a junkie. Can we help each other, man? I dont talk bout this with ny friends, I dont wanna disappoint them. I told my girlfriend to monitor my salary and force me to save I mean FORCE so that I dont use my money on drugs for now its helping. Whew!! Thank you, man b
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Posts: 1
Joined: November 7, 2013
Posted: November 7, 2013, 3:33 PM
I was clean for three years and was doing great, then i went over to a friends house where i didnt imagine it being and they had it laying in front of me, i figured after three years i could just walk away but no i relapsed and went back to it, then again lost my job and everyone around me, now its time to pick up the pieces and stay clean again, this means having NO friends at all but maybe thats for the better
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Posted: June 18, 2014, 5:50 PM
Dude im in a similar spot not the same but im playing the same sport the craving your talking about is what im finding hard to detect before its already pushed into the direction of a dealers place im constantly trying to identify whats the first thought that's putting things in motion going of the principle of don't think that and you wont end up here. im failing im high now let me know if you come up with a solution for the craving train cause it don't stop once your thinking about getting on
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Posts: 1
Joined: June 27, 2014
Posted: June 27, 2014, 7:15 AM
Far out.... I'm hearing you... I don't want to be like this either,,,,but the suck is strong.
I have been a user of meth for 6 years. weed 20 years, my drug of choice is acid, and I've chucked most other things into the mix . My best friend died of drug abuse 15 months ago. What is wrong with my life that Ive needed to escape to this level? I'm a high achiever, been married twice, addiction in both connections.....great upbringing though addiction is in the genes (is it even true addiction is hereditary??) I just know I want it different.... I want to live!!!....So I ran away.....to another country. Have thought I could 're-birth' ..... forgive myself and move on.... HA! f***en laugh that is..... I have hidden my addictive life from my family...,.spent over 84 thousand dollars in ten years on getting high...didn't care what happened to me or my life....don't get me wrong.....I'm loved...I just don't love me.... I've lied...been lied too, cheated on...shat on.... I've ostrasized myself... although I've been clean for 12 months (I'm telling myself I can control this!!!) but I miss my family...my 22 year old daughter, my 8 year old dog, my friends.... my life. I want to go home..... but I'm scared as hell. My life was filled with adrenalin and rewards and pushing boundries, personally and professionally. I've hard knuckled the withdrawals..... and I kid myself I will cope if I go home, and am amongst the same crowd.HELP! | ||
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Posted: July 6, 2014, 1:13 PM
well I think maybe your no stranger to NA meetings.why don't yout try outpatient rehab.i go three nights a week for 2 hrs a night.it helps.if that doesn't work your gonna have to do inpatient before you lose everything.i know ive done it more times than I can count.outpatient rehab is good it holds you accountable to someone then gets you started on meetings working the steps, getting a sponser, and the focus/tools you will need to stay sober.
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Posted: September 3, 2014, 10:59 PM
My heart goes out to all of you. The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling and so powerful. I just relapsed after a year. Tak about feelings of shame and remorse. I had been chairing a 12 step meeting and i finally felt good about myself again and then the insanity of thinking i could handle it just crept up from the shadows. I had to tell my sponsor and come clean to the 12 step fellowship. All i know is that only God can relieve me from the insidiousness of this diease. Would love to pray for someone and maybe, pray together. Its our only chance ofliving free and happy. We just dont have the ability on our own to overcome this without help. My email is dontkickthekitty with gmail. My prayers are with you all.
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