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Posted: April 11, 2015, 4:07 AM
I just wanted to say something about fearing withdrawals. My main reason for not wanting to quit was fear of withdrawals. Not so much the fear of withdrawals but the fear of being worthless for who knows how long. I'm in withdrawals right now and I'm fine. I can't sleep right now because of the restless legs, but I'm hanging in there. I just want to say that you have 2 choices on how you look at withdrawals. You can fear them and that fear will make them even worse. Have you ever noticed how when you dwell on the fear of something it usually happens? Or you can look at it in a positive way. Everything that you are feeling is your body taking back control. The emotional Rollercoaster is your brain chemicals working back to equilibrium after being out of whack for so long. The diarrhea is your gastrointestinal tract getting back to normal. These horrible things are not horrible. It's a horrible experience but it's a wonderful thing that you are getting back what you've lost. I had to do a lot today and I'm right in the middle of withdrawals. It was difficult but everything that I felt today was real. For the first time in a long time. If you're done with this stuff but you're afraid, don't be. When you're done, truly done, and you are ready to get your life back, you can and will be able to do it.
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Posted: April 11, 2015, 10:10 PM
Hello sweetie>> just thought I would explain my feelings on w/d--I was always afraid of the depressed feeling---not being able to eat,, I love to cook---and I would smell things a lot stronger in my house...which mad me think of my w/d that I would go thru over and over again---and the restless legs and rolling back and forth all nite,,thinking everyone is sleeping and dreaming of wonderful things--or nightmare's--lol--anyway the worst part of w/d is --waking up in the morning and first thought is..NO PILLS. And that dread feeling, because when I did have plenty of them I would do the happy dance and plan my happy day,,,has the addiction went on for years the happy feeling was more like normal feeling but still getting that sort of happy feeling along with a normal feeling...any way I went from 22 pills a day to 4 a day for the past 4 years and stayed at 4 pills a day ...how I did it dunno...but I never took more than that. Have to take them for very good reason.''0'' hubby holds them....amen to that. Anyway I hope you find your way back to the happy dance but a normal natural happy high....and you will get back to it believe me,I was off them for years now on them 4 a day,,,for a good reason. Amen to you sweetie.been here for 10 years im a old timer..got my nickname from cowgirl..just thought I would add that,,wink
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Posted: April 11, 2015, 11:34 PM
Ya poopie, I know exactly what you are talking about. I would start getting high the morning of my dr appointment because I was only hours away from getting the pills. I'm at the end of day 2 now. Today was good. I went to an aa meeting at noon today. I'm still not 100% sure it's for me, but I figure at the very worst I'm surrounding myself with people similar to myself and listening to how they got what I want. I figure I'm going to honestly try to give myself every opportunity for success. I'm not worried about the future, I'm worried about getting through today. I was really up and down today. I barely slept last night and the kids were up early. I had to do a dump run for my parents and my mother in law. It was ok. I was already kind of nauseous and the smell of garbage didn't help. It's good to keep yourself busy. I took all of the house trash out and changed the cat litter box. Just normal stuff but it feels good to do it without pills. Oh and the best part of today, I was talking to my wife this morning and I said something funny and both started cracking up and it felt so good. Like I got a little high from it. It feels good to laugh! I haven't felt anything like that in my life. So to the people who were like me and just read a bunch of this stuff but are scared to post or scared to quit, you will have small victories as early as day 1 and day 2. It's all how you choose to see it
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Posted: April 11, 2015, 11:51 PM
Real quick thanks to cam for the calm support YouTube channel advice. The guy is awesome. Those videos got me through some ugly stuff.
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Posted: April 12, 2015, 4:07 PM
I no you think only the pills will get to to laugh eat have fun. But you will see has time goes on things will make you stop and think..ha!! im doing things laughing even talking to strangers without the pills, you center every thing on pills--get up in the morn have a few pills make coffee have few more oo walk the dogs and the kids few more pills,,,and go out to mother and dads few more pills....yes you are doing better than I..I was depressed coundnt get out of bed, for 3 days, than when I did ,,I said why??? no pills no happiness,,,on and on...so sad, but now im doing pretty good.hubby holds my pills ...and I also forgot to tell you im a German Amish lady, so we all get the addiction..lol so happy for you ..poopie
-------------------- just remember we are here to hold your hand.. | ||
Posted: April 12, 2015, 4:14 PM
how much did you take---I took 12-17 vicodin---and Percocet 10.I am 60 and was on them for 16 years on and off.
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Posted: April 12, 2015, 4:55 PM
I was prescribed 3 10mg percocet a day for the last 4 years. I would take an extra here or there and eventually got to the point I was running out a week before the refill. I went through withdrawals more times than I like to remember and then I found somebody willing to sell me a few to get me through. That was a year ago or so. I steadily bought more and more and a few months ago I took my months prescription in a week and was taking 2.5 30mg roxys day. It was to the point I knew it couldn't continue. I was miserable the whole time. I started cutting back and that sucked. The only time I was happy at all was when I was taking way more than I should. That's no way to live. The seed was planted in my brain when I was 17 and I took the first pill. I never had a craving for anything else in my life, just pills. And not Xanax or Valium or any of that stuff, just pain pills. I never really sought them out and when I hurt my back and I found a doc willing to write the prescription I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The pills slowly work their way into every part of your brain and before you know it you are rationalizing and justifying things and crossing boundaries. They are disgusting things and I hope I never have to have another one. I hate the way I feel right now and I now I did it to myself. I thought I was depressed and miserable because there was something wrong with me but it was the pills changing my brain
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Posted: April 13, 2015, 8:56 PM
So true--you sound like your doing well--now if I may ask do you still get a script from your doctor? That is the real test not getting the script anymore?poopie
-------------------- just remember we are here to hold your hand.. | ||
Posted: April 13, 2015, 10:13 PM
I won't go back to the doc for few weeks and I'll tell her then. She knows I was at least chemically dependent so I don't think this will be a shock. I don't plan on telling her everything. I'm afraid of the repercussions of telling her everything. I don't plan on getting any prescription drugs for a long time or possibly the rest of my life. I think I'll probably have to have some at some point. I can't imagine what it would be like to be on them longer. I think when you are in legitimate pain the effects are less but the pills get in to every nook and cranny in your brain and you start lying to yourself about your pain. I have herniated discs and the pain was crazy for a few years but I learned how to move and what I could and couldn't do and eventually the pain slowed down and the drug addiction started up. I just feel so lucky I figured it out before I lost anything more.
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