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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: November 10, 2014, 4:39 PM
On Oct 31st I got the dreaded phone call, my mother had passed away. Then comes the scramble to get to Chicago from Florida in time for the funeral. I am afraid of flying but have learned I can do it drug free. We do the wake and funeral and I am staying at Mom's house with my stepfather who has dementia. The whole experience was heart breaking and stressful to say the least. So here I am in Mom's basement doing laundry and I'm standing there looking around feeling pretty sad and there it is!!! A lone medicine bottle hidden on a shelf calling to me....Kathi, come look at me... So good addict that I am I reach up and read the label. It's Mom's Xanax that they had to take away from her because they made her a little loopy, ok a lot loopy. So here it is, a couple days after my 14th sobriety anniversary, some temptation. CRAP! And the voices start..no one will know..you need them for the flight...just take one...it's for medicinal purposes...think how easy the flight would be with a Xanax....
Thank God I paid attention when my AAers said the addictive brain doesn't know the difference between medicinal and recreational. That we just don't know what will waken the dragon. I played the tape like I was taught and decided no I don't need any pills to get thru the flight, the death of my mother or any other reason. That I would be perfectly fine asking God for help instead of science. So here I am, a week later, still sober, still drug free, looking forward to my 15th anniversary. I have learned without a doubt that no matter how many years I have sober the dragon is still alive, sleeping, just waiting for a chance to awaken and make my life hell again. Please remember to play the tape all the way thru if you come across a stray pill. It's just not worth it. -------------------- १२ सà¥à¤¤à¥ˆà¤ªà¥à¤ªà¥ˆà¤°! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005
Posted: November 10, 2014, 5:02 PM
Are U serious YOU afraid of anything? Tomorrow is one yr since I went to Detox Time Flies Kat--I am sorry for your loss.
I take care of My Mom--She has dementia--Its a interesting 5 yrs of?? education and well AA tools certainly have helped me personally. Grateful--Its amazing the disease--my family is ignorant in denial etc etc--Dementia sucks man watching ur Mom just----??? But I deal with it kiddo Ironic I was going to send u a note saying nov 12th Started my journey was my 1yr 2013 left on the 22nd kinda hard not to remember 50 the anniversary of JFK the day I left detox--clean of all pills-- I pray ur okay--hang in there and besides the COLD do not be afraid when returning to Good old warm Florida--Ur a pretty cool Woman--JMHO Pray ur in good health--Take care--Jeffrey -------------------- It is Just Not worth it. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the puck happened." One Day At A Time | ||
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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: November 10, 2014, 5:12 PM
Wow, Jeff, a year already? Congratulations!
-------------------- १२ सà¥à¤¤à¥ˆà¤ªà¥à¤ªà¥ˆà¤°! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005
Posted: November 10, 2014, 5:17 PM
Not yet kiddo--nov 22nd-a Year???-but you know its one day sober they add up man--I am just glad ur okay and really sorry for ur Loss
If u like deep pan Pizza get it before u come back--besides N.Y Chicago got some really good Pizza Jeffrey -------------------- It is Just Not worth it. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the puck happened." One Day At A Time | ||
Posts: 1067
Joined: November 19, 2005
Posted: November 10, 2014, 8:45 PM
Sorry for your loss Kat. You are a true inspiration to show that no matter how many years, days, months....That beast is waiting.....and you can beat it. There are a lot of good meetings in Chicago and south subs. Wow. Congrats on the clean time.
-------------------- [FONT=Arial]I am an addict. I can not use any mind or mood altering chemicals successfully.[COLOR=purple] | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 11, 2012
Posted: November 11, 2014, 7:41 AM
So sorry for your loss. Thanks for the reminder that the beast is always waiting. Glad you were able to make it through clean.
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Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005
Posted: November 22, 2014, 5:11 PM
Hey Kat--TODAY is one year.
Hope ur hanging in there. Enjoy the rain---Jeffrey -------------------- It is Just Not worth it. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the puck happened." One Day At A Time | ||
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Posts: 1059
Joined: August 11, 2012
Posted: November 23, 2014, 9:10 AM
Congrats Jeffrey!
This post has been edited by girltoday on November 23, 2014, 9:11 AM | ||
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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: November 23, 2014, 10:06 AM
Proud of you, Jeff. Congrats!
-------------------- १२ सà¥à¤¤à¥ˆà¤ªà¥à¤ªà¥ˆà¤°! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posts: 6750
Joined: September 15, 2005
Posted: November 23, 2014, 11:02 AM
Thanks Ladies---
-------------------- It is Just Not worth it. "Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the puck happened." One Day At A Time | ||
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