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Posts: 1
Joined: September 1, 2014
Posted: September 1, 2014, 11:52 AM
ok...
I was clean for many yrs, and then I have had a brief relapse. I was an 'old timer' and in the day was the poster child for the programs. I hated the idea of sub or methodone and never thought that i would find myself contimplating it. After my relapse I being much older, not wiser thought that I would avoid the wd and try sub. The mental changes that took place were amazing. I wasnt high but felt normal. I have been using it for a week and now I am rethinking. I wasnt out very long in fact I problably wouldnt have many wd physically but after trying sub I am starting to see a different side. I am not high by know means but my brain is quiet from being paranoid, and scared all the time. But. I am scared to death of living a life on a drug and sub is most certainly a drug and left alone with my disease I would try to abuse it... but I dont want to live life in my brain either. The horror stories of this drug scare me and I am tryig to make a decision. any info would help and I am starting a diary too . so should help separate my disease talking and my real self recovery talk. kt | ||
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