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Posted: July 17, 2014, 11:34 AM
I haven't been sober for more than a few days in the last two years. For the first year I took tramadol everyday about 7-10 a day. I stopped taking them (not by choice I just wasn't able to get them anymore). I withdrawaled sober for about two days and it was the most uncomfortable and painful experience I've had. I then started up on cocaine and alcohol to help cope. Preferring the pill high I then started using OxyContin. Now I pretty much take whatever I can get my hands on to feel somewhat human. Usually pain killers or coke. The effects on my body are becoming more consistent and I'm getting really delirious at random times. I work full time and have a young child. None of my family or friends know the extent of my addiction. I don't really know where to begin to move forward. Thank you for taking the time to read this, any advise is greatly appreciated...
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Posts: 1841
Joined: January 1, 2005
Posted: July 17, 2014, 2:14 PM
You're doing what most of us have done at one time or another. Substituting one drug for another. It never works. Reach out to narcotics anonymous or another group to help you get and stay clean.
Also, while this board is life-saving for many people, we all need face-to-face real-life people to help us. I wish you the best. You can get clean and enjoy life without drugs! | ||
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Posted: August 3, 2014, 11:06 AM
My heart aches for you. My daughter is clean & sober for the first time in nearly 12 yrs. I cannot tell you the pain it has caused our family. However, her pain was so much worse. Yes your family will be angry, but the joy of your recovery will far outweigh any pain the past has brought. If you really don't think anyone knows, you are wrong, they just don't tell you. But if you really want help, tell. Tell everyone that truly loves you because, you will need them to get on board your recovery too. You cannot do it alone. Just like any addiction, the only way to stop is to tell. If you sadly don't have family support, then go to AA or NA.
I pray this is not so everwhere, but in her experience, there were too many drugs to be found at NA meetings, so she goes to AA. She worries about me because I use 1- 50mg. Fentynal patch every three days, but after reading some of the stories on here I realize that my use is miniscule. I do suffer from withdrawal for about 12-24 hours before changing patches but I refuse, absolutely refuse, to overdose. Besides my insurance co. won't allow for higher doses. I can't afford street drugs! I hope I could give you at least a small bit of hope. | ||
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Posted: August 3, 2014, 2:02 PM
Its like I'm looking into a mirror..I've been cold turkey day five. The first 3 days I didn't work. Yesterday was my first day back. Lacked the energy that I loved so much, but I did it. I have two small kids and a family that doesn't understand how bad it is how much I was using. So at 2am I found this site. And just being able to talk about... I can tell its helping. From a girl in southwest Missouri. I ask please stay on this site!! Looking forward to your future posts.
-------------------- Sometimes the soul bends and twists to deal with life... And sometimes it just breaks. By: SJO | ||
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Posted: August 4, 2014, 7:53 AM
Hi Moses, I live in the country too. I was an oxy seeking soccer mom for more years than I care to admit. I used upwards to 300 mgs a day. I can't believe I am alive or not in jail. I have a solid sponsor who it my lifeline out of this hell. I have 30 plus days. The first couple of weeks sucked. I am not going to lie. But it gets better once you get the tools. Meetings--AA or NA are a gift. Just go. Listen and learn. Read recovery literature. Take a bath. Take a walk. Force yourself to eat a little. Take anti diarrhea medicine. Drink lots of water. No one ever died detoxing off opiates. IF you can, check into detox for a fast 5 day taper. They will put you on Suboxone for only five days. I did that years ago. But I continued to use after that stint in detox. See your doctor. Tell the truth. It's easier. Hugs, Happydaysahead.
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Posts: 24
Joined: July 23, 2014
Posted: August 7, 2014, 6:32 PM
Get off now! You will have two weeks of bad times and then it gets much better. Don't physc yourself out worrying about PAWS or any of that nonsense. I'm at day 17 and can tell you around day 15 I felt like my old self, confident, in charge and overall more happy then when I was all doped out and sick half the time.
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Posted: August 17, 2014, 3:50 AM
Hi thank you everyone for replying. It's really nice to be able to know there are people out there that can relate. Unfortunately I don't have any good news. I was coming down really hard after this post and the guy I was seeing offered me heroin... I stopped 5 days ago and have never been more miserable. I took oxy yesterday and today... I have an appointment on Tuesday about getting help to withdrawal and get better. I can't do it alone anymore. Still haven't told my family but I'm just not ready to take that step yet. Thanks for reading I'll update on how the appointment goes.
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Posted: August 17, 2014, 7:49 AM
Hi pains pills
Can anyone offer any advice to Tira11 who posted in pain pills forum. New member. Cheers Suspect This post has been edited by suspectdj on August 17, 2014, 7:50 AM -------------------- GOD SAVE BASS GENERATOR records. | ||
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