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Posted: April 15, 2013, 12:06 PM
hi all.. im new to this..ive been lookin tru some posts ere an i feel stupid for being d way i am..im not on even half as much codeine as some ppl on dis..ive tried numorous times to stop but jus cant seem to stop.. my heart breaks for yee dats on really high doses.god love yee.. i was on tylex for few months den solpadol now solpadeine..cud take 14-15 r more on bad days or 9-10 on good days..im also on xanax and am addicted 2 red bull an coke plus coffee...i come from a family wit alcoholic parents..addiction is big in my family..i tink i have d most addictive personality ever.. and i totally hate myself for it..i feel i jus need solp evry day as it jus numbs d pain of dealin wit d family...i no some ppl are worse than me dats why i feel so stupid dat i cant jus stop..but dats jus me.. ive always been like dis and its really driving me crazy..i love d "high" but i soo hate myself afterwards..can any one relate to me r wud ye av any sort of advice to share..i wud really very much appreciate it..tank you..
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Posts: 324
Joined: July 4, 2013
Posted: July 10, 2013, 2:00 AM
You're not stupid. If it's an issue for you then it's an issue.
You could visit your doctor or go to your local drug n alcohol clinic. Im not sure where you're from as I'm from UK I can only say what happened to me. Post back with more information n people can best advise you. Evey x -------------------- eveleivibe@btinternet.com Ignorance may be bliss but knowledge is power! | ||
Posts: 1
Joined: July 20, 2013
Posted: July 20, 2013, 8:17 PM
HALLO, ABOUT EIGHT YEARS AGO I BECAME ADDICTED TO COCAINE, ALCOHOLISM RUNS IN THE FAMILY, ON MY FATHER'S SIDE. I WENT TO AA MEETINGS, THREE REHABS SAW COUNCILLORS, DOCTORS, NONE OF THEM COULD STIR A DESIRE IN ME TO LIVE WITHOUT DRUGS, NEITHER DID THEY OFFER ME A SUITABLE SOLUTION FOR MY EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN. THAT MADE ME WANT TO DRIVE MY CAR OFF A BRIDGE.
AT FIRST COCAINE MADE ME FEEL SO SELF-ASSURED, ATTRACTIVE, SMART, ECCENTRIC AND A CUT ABOVE THE REST. I WOULD BE THE HOT GIRL WITH ALL THE RIGHT MOVES ON THE DANCE FLOOR. I MET NEW FRIENDS THAT THOUGHT I WAS GREAT COMPANY, MEN LOOKED AT ME AND WANTED ME TO GO HOME WITH THEM. COCAINE ALSO MADE ME LOOSE MY INHIBITIONS. MORALS THAT I STRONGLY BELIEVED IN CRUMBLED AS TIME WENT BY AND BEFORE LONG I ENJOYED THE COMPANY OF VERY UNSAVORY CHARACTERS. WHEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE DRUG, I WOULD GIVE MYSELF TO MEN THAT I NEVER IN MY RIGHT MIND, WOULD TALK TO, NOT TO MENTION HAVE SEX WITH THEM. IT WAS AS IF I BECAME THIS OTHER WOMAN, I WOULD DRINK EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF STRONG ALCOHOL AND DRIVE AROUND FOR HOURS, DRINKING AND SNORTING COKE. THE SAD THING IS, I WAS MARRIED TO THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, WITH FIVE CHILDREN WHOM I ADORED. WE WERE FAIRLY COMFORTABLE FINANCIALLY AND WE HAD A VERY HAPPY HOME LIFE TOGETHER. ONLY I WAS BORN WITH THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION AND NO MATTER HOW I TRIED TO SUPPRESS IT, MY ADDICTION WOULD SHOW ITSELF IN VARIOUS WAYS. I WAS OBSESSED WITH MY HAIR AND KEPT GOING AT IT TILL IT BROKE OFF SO SHORT I HAD TO SHAVE MY ENTIRE HEAD. WHEN IT GREW BACK A LITTLE, I WOULD START IT ALL AGAIN. I WAS RESTLESS AND UNABLE TO LIVE LIFE THE NORMAL WAY. AS A CHILD, I USED GLUE, THINNERS, POPPERS, PETROL, CIGARETTES, ALCOHOL, ANYTHING TO STAY INTERESTED IN LIFE. ALL MY LIFE I HAD THIS DARK CLOUD OF DEPRESSION FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE I WENT. TO KEEP IT SHORT, I LOST MY HUSBAND AND KIDS AND SIGNED MYSELF INTO THE MENTAL DEPARTMENT OF A HOSPITAL. THEN I ASKED MY MOM IF SHE WOULD TAKE ME IN, SHE SAID OK, RELUCTANTLY. I'VE BEEN CLEAN SINCE THEN, ITS BEEN 8 YEARS, I DONT EVEN SMOKE ANYMORE BECAUSE TO ME IT WAS A TRIGGER. I WAS REUNITED WITH MY FAMILY AND MY HUSBAND AND I REMARRIED IN OUR BACK GARDEN UNDER A TREE. WE HAVE BEEN HAPPIER THAN EVER BEFORE, I STARTED PAINTING AGAIN, CAUSE THAT'S MY THING. SLOWLY AND AFTER A FEW YEARS, I GAINED MY CHILDREN'S TRUST. THAT SADLY IS NOT WHERE MY STORY END, I'M IN TROUBLE AGAIN. | ||
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