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Posts: 3
Joined: January 4, 2014
Posted: January 4, 2014, 6:55 PM
I've been with someone for 8 years out of those 8years 6 of them have been him highly addicted to drugs. It started off with pills and increased from there. We have not been together for about 4 months now when I found needles and he admitted to using heroin. I still however am the first person he calls and bashes when he can't get what he wants. I'm trying to ignore it and just say no but ill admot there are times I break and give him the cash. A few years ago he overdosed and I found him dead on my floor he was revived 2times and then went to rehab he has been to rehab over 5 times over 2 in the last 4 months. Everytime he leaves and can't deal he says. That day that he died I replay that image in my head all the time no matter hpw hard I try to stop it it always comes up to the point where if I don't hear from him I thibk he's dead. I need help I'm going insane with t hi is everyday. Advice please
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Posted: January 7, 2014, 12:47 AM
I've been with my boyfriend who,s an heroin addict 10 yrs I tried so hard to help him come off it and in doin so ended up on it myself, my life has been hell for 10 yrs. I luv this man with all my heart, I told myself we would kick the habit 2gether but that never happened, he went to jail and I hit rock bottom my family disowned me he was all I had. But I picked myself up I've been through hell but I'm now clean 6 months, startin to rebuild my life slowly,I know when he comes out we can,t get back 2gether until he,s clean,the hardest part is knowing I can't help him he has to do it himself, tell ur man the only way he,s going to get clean is if u walk away,if he's ready he will if not I'm sorry there,s nothin u can do apart from tell him u will wait and support him when he is clean for good. I know its hard to walk away u never stop worryin about em but just imagine if u gave him cash 4 heroin and he did od u'd never 4give urself. Im speakin from both sides bein an addict and livin with 1,when I got clean I knew the people who loved me wern,t the 1,s givin me cash for heroin they were the 1,s who told me they'd support me talk 2 me at all hrs of the night when I was withdrawin, and now I'm clean I can c who my real friends r. Don't 4get ur own happiness livin with an addict becomes all about them, remember who u were be4 u met this man, go and c some good friends spend time with ur family cos I bet there worried sick about u. go have some fun u deserve it xxx
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Posts: 517
Joined: August 7, 2010
Posted: January 7, 2014, 4:49 AM
You are only responsible for your actions. Your choices. Second by second. Whether you pour a cup of coffee, light a cigarette, drive to the store, turn off a light, etc.
It's an absolute fact that you can only control YOUR thoughts and actions. Try to at least be aware of the actions and choices you make. I find it's amazingly easy to ignore my actions and end up in a place where I shouldn't be. I used to call it bad luck, But I've become more self-aware and try to live in the moment, become aware of the jillions of tiny choices I make. That's all we really have anyway. Now. Once you become aware of the myriad tiny choices you make, then you can choose to maybe change a few of them. None of us is perfect. I just lit a cigarette, not a good choice really, but I was aware of the choice. We all know the right thing generally. It's your life and only you can live it. Same with him. Just be aware that if you choose to devastate your life by your actions toward him, that it was a choice you made. A waste of a beautiful life. Unfortunately it happens all the time. Co-dependency and all that psycho stuff. I try to keep it simple and just deal with one thing at a time. If you just do that and try to lean just the tiniest bit toward the right thing.. Just the tiniest effort in that direction will change your life! Good luck, Mark | ||
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Posted: January 12, 2014, 1:46 PM
Mark are you studying mindfulness, or zen ,tao or something
bob | ||
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Posted: January 14, 2014, 9:12 AM
that was weird,I had to check TWICE to make sure it was your name at the top and not mine, you sounded that much like me (I thought),
It’s very much about taking personal responsibility for OUR own actions words and life I believe to Never stop loving my brother love Bob | ||
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Posts: 517
Joined: August 7, 2010
Posted: January 14, 2014, 9:25 PM
All the above, Bob
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Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: January 14, 2014, 11:02 PM
Very cool Mark,
I have an old friend who studied all that stuff.. . transcontinental meditation...lmao...went overseas and spent time in a monastery and the like...what a great way to help battle addictions. -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
Posts: 2340
Joined: February 20, 2010
Posted: January 15, 2014, 10:29 AM
dear need to stop..what do you get from the relationship that makes his behavior so addictive? I say that with love, I danced the dance with my son for 15 years, he is currently sentenced to prison. come to the family board and join us, a lot of experience with family and spouses and drugs MomG
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Posts: 517
Joined: August 7, 2010
Posted: January 15, 2014, 12:27 PM
Pretty amazing stuff, really.
I learned many tools in the endless NA meetings in the past several years. But Once I struck out on my own on an inner search of who I am, it was only then that I discovered the error of my ways. I find the answers within. Meditation helps. It becomes a habit. The more I learn, the simpler it becomes. When I come to a decision, I tend to find the answer sitting right there at the end of my nose. Duhhh. I was always a great complicator. The more I learn, the simpler it becomes. It seems all great truths are simple. That''s my take on it anyway. Best to all, Mark | ||
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