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Posted: August 7, 2014, 9:47 AM
Hi I am 27 now and at the start of the year I remember thinking I would never find a man who loved me that I love back I had never had that before and that is all I ever wanted. So many men have hurt me, used me and abused me in the past and I have been left heartbroken so many times I never even had a real boyfriend before I used to take a lot of drugs in the past for years since I was 15 you name it I used it my main problems were speed and weed but the last 3 years I helped myself to stop taking drugs and I was really happy being drug free the main reason I wanted to stop taking drugs is I was worried I would die I never really cared if I lived or died before until I got my dog and I stopped weed because it would make me angry paranoid wreck who was too scared to even go out sometimes anyway about 5 months ago I met my new boyfriend and fell in love he is the first man I've ever fell in love with that loves me back and he treats me so well we are together everyday the only problem is he smokes weed everyday from the minute he wakes up he has a spliff and most weekends he will take a bit of coke or ecstasy he can function like that though and not get addicted or let it effect him really he has his own successful business own home and he goes to work every day with me drugs really do effect me they make me moody and emotional and a wreak and I can't just do a little bit either since I met him I have been smoking weed every day again as well and taking coke or ecstasy or both most weekends and I feel really bad I don't want to take drugs anymore I am scared of the serious health risks and they just don't make me a very good person I have been really moody with my boyfriend lately I keep saying to myself I will just let him take his drugs and say no but I am just too weak I keep taking them with him I really don't want too how can I be stronger and just say no when he is using? I really don't want this relationship to end but I don't know what to do I have spoken to him about it and he has no intentions of giving up drugs he doesn't think it is a problem which it isn't for him in some respects but I still worry about his health especially as he is older than me
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Posted: August 8, 2014, 4:16 PM
I just poured my heart felt thoughts out to you and accidentally hit the back button. I hope what I have to say to you is helpful because I am taking the time to type it again.
You can find love with a BF that won't put your sobriety at risk. You are worth it, don't settle, PUT YOURSELF & YOUR FUTURE FIRST, the rest will come. This is not your only love, just your first. Don't stay and be me at 52. I am you, at 52. I'm sitting right here - right now looking for addiction help for the first time. 26 years ago I married a loving, kind, fun & attentive older guy. He had a successful company, was responsible, etc. also; he drank, did coke on weekends, etc. My husband died from a heart attack leaving our 11 year old son without a father, the autopsy showed his heart was 3x the normal size (from all the coke, etc.). We had a great time partying together but, I have an "addictive" personality. I got into the coke & thought I had it under control. I go to work, pay the bills, am responsible, etc. Eventually the coke was hurting my nose & head so much that my new BF showed me how to make crack in March of 2006. We were both hooked by that Summer but did not face it. I'm still responsible, work pay bills, blah, blah, blah... Now I"m 52 and I do not want to do this any more, FOR ME. My son moved away to college. I am JUST NOW going to get back on track with my life from where I left MYSELF behind for a man I loved at 26. Please, if you can, put yourself 26 years in the future & see if where you are now is where you want to be then. Peace... | ||
Posts: 7
Joined: August 20, 2014
Posted: August 20, 2014, 11:57 AM
can i just say, you sound like a really nice girl, nice but naive, when i was with my ex he never let me touch drugs once, its the worst thing you can EVER let the love of your life do. hes still addicted, but im trying to help him with that. if this is making you depressed dont you think its time to work on yourself? babe if he is the guy for you if he loves you as much as you love him dont you think he will stop drugs. like the lady above me said, do you want to be 52 and only trying to get over an addiction? you will find love, this isnt love, this is just something youve grown to be comfortable with because he does the sames things as you , but YOURE only realising now that YOU want a better life. you are good babe and never let anyone make you feel lower than what you are worth!
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. | ||
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