Love And Addiction
Posted: April 1, 2012, 10:07 AM

Posts: 552
Joined: July 31, 2004

April 01, 2012
Love and addiction
Page 95

"Some of us first saw the effects of addiction on the people closest to us. We were very dependent on them to carry us through life. We felt angry disappointed, and hurt when they found other interests, friends, and loved ones."

Basic Text, p. 7

Addiction affected every area of our lives. Just as we sought the drug that would make everything alright, so we sought people to fix us. We made impossible demands, driving away those who had anything of worth to offer us. Often, the only people left were those who were themselves too needy to be capable of denying our unrealistic expectations. It's no wonder that we were unable to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships in our addiction.

Today, in recovery, we've stopped expecting drugs to fix us. If we still expect people to fix us, perhaps it's time to extend our recovery program to our relationships. We begin by admitting we have a problem-that we don't know the first thing about how to have healthy intimate relationships. We seek out members who've had similar problems and have found relief. We talk with them and listen to what they share about this aspect of their recovery. We apply the program to all our affairs, seeking the same kind of freedom in our relationships that we find throughout our recovery.

Just for Today: Loving relationships are within my reach. Today, I will examine the effects of addiction on my relationships so that I can begin seeking recovery.

Copyright © 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Posted: August 16, 2012, 9:29 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: August 16, 2012

I have been clean for two years. I remember hearing several times in the halls that you should wait at least one year before getting into a relationship. Now I finally am starting to understand why. I have been married to a non addict for5 years I have only been sober 2. I'm constantly trying to sabatage it. Pushing him away because I don't want to be in pain but at the same time trying to hold on. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm just realizing how drugs have really screwed up my thinking! How do I start building healthy relationships from here?
Posted: August 17, 2012, 12:14 PM

Posts: 8653
Joined: April 24, 2007

The same way you stay day at a time. Establish some small boundaries and ground rules for yourself and stick to them...if you make a mistake and recognize it, fix it with amends as soon as reasonable. Read around and see how it is.

Squirrel, nice to see you =)

You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

user posted image
Posted: January 19, 2013, 1:05 AM

Is anyone here I need help?
Posted: January 22, 2013, 5:32 PM

How can we help Dawn??????????
Posted: October 28, 2013, 4:45 PM

Some resources by Susan Peabody
Addiction to Love (overview of love addiction)
The Art of Changing (when your recovery is stuck)
Recovery Workbook for Love Addicts and Love Avoidants (Learn about the Ambivalent Love Addict)
Where Love Abides (Susan Peabody's memoirs)
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