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Posted: February 19, 2011, 12:12 AM
My girlfriend is a crackhead. I am tired of all the lies the missing money and the absence of her in general. she is a mother of 2 and they miss thier mommy but thank goodness they are too young to understand what is really happening. for example tonight we planned to take the kids to the store and let them pick out a pet. She ended up dropping them off at mcdonalds (where i was meeting them after i got off work). so she dropped them off and said she had to go pay a bill well that was at 5:30 this afternoon and here it is 10:10 pm and still not home. I love her to death and care about her even more. we have had talks but it keeps happening. i felt so bad when at 7 i loaded the kids up went to the atm machine and withdrew as much as i could till i hit the daily limit just so she couldnt empty the bank account. i dont know what to do. i am lost here. i dont want to give up but im out of ideas.
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Posted: February 19, 2011, 12:19 AM
well there went another 68 dollars out of the account dont know the card number so i cant cancle it.
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Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: February 19, 2011, 12:38 AM
Sorry you are hurting. First thing to do, separate your finances and do not let her near the family money. Are the children yours? It sounds like you are caring for them and she is not. Loving your girlfriend is fine, signing off on her bad behavior and enabling her is not. You need to determine your boundaries...what is acceptable and where do you draw the line...let her know what is not okay with you and cut off her money and credit cards. She will turn it on you and try to make you feel badly for not believing her and on and on...don't you believe it.
Finally, realize that you cannot control her addiciton or behavior, but only your reactions to it. She will not change because you want her to...only when she is ready. Sorry for her babies and you . Peace ~ MomNMore -------------------- You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.  | ||
Posts: 552
Joined: July 31, 2004
Posted: February 19, 2011, 12:41 PM
Agree totally with Momnmore. You have to create your boundaries...with consequences...we are powerless over our addiction...so we are more powerless over someone else's...so it is about protecting yourself against the consequences of someone's addiction and the addict. There is support groups like Al-anon that give you the tools and techniques to deal with someone's addiction in the proper manner. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. Blessed Be
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Posted: March 3, 2011, 2:04 PM
listen mate i'l help ya email me at tali99@hotmail.com then i'l give u my number, i promise u i will be able to help, lets just say i been there on both sides
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Posts: 433
Joined: December 14, 2009
Posted: March 10, 2011, 11:21 AM
Humble man,
My guess is you ain't real and I would advise all to avoid that e-mail. Hurting, Wish I had some good news or advise, but I don't. I am a recoveredcrackhead, and well I have to agree with Mom and sqiurrel. Being that adults need to care for themselves I won't address your her needs or yours, but as for the children, I think....the worst.You really should consider the options for isolating them from what harm may come. I shall keep you all in my prayers, Larry -------------------- All gods send their drunks to AA My story.. https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...ST&f=16&t=63644 
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Posted: August 19, 2011, 8:10 PM
I now its hard my girlfriend does crack to its very hard because you love them.
Soon i will leave her i cant do it and i know this sounds bad but you have to leave her to she is going to mess up your life forever.You have to give her to god and pray for her but the only and best thing to do is leave her if you want to live i mean live. | ||
Posts: 2340
Joined: February 20, 2010
Posted: August 19, 2011, 8:26 PM
get your money out of joint accounts!! sad when children are involved and dissapointed time after time, stick around and post and read but agree, dont email that dude.. hang in there
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Posts: 4
Joined: August 19, 2011
Posted: August 22, 2011, 1:59 PM
I am very sorry to hear about your pain and losses. But as it was pointed out before, you have to take care of you, I mean really and sincerely, take care of you. It has been stated that after setting up boundaries and separating the bank accout. You should trhy to go to face to face Al-Anon meeting. There are people there who can help you find your way to help yourself.
As for your girlfriend, if it is at all possible try to get her to a drug counselor to be assessed and referred to the appropriate treatment. It is going to be difficult I know. but it can be done as long as you have protected yourself and your children from the chaos. I wish you the best Pernell47 | ||
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Posted: August 23, 2011, 2:25 AM
Sorry you hae to go through that!!! I myself was your girlfriend ( Her type) anyways this time last year. I have been married almost a year and with my husband for a year and a half. HE HAD ALOT OF THINGS going for him BEFORE ME AND MY SICKNESS CAME ALONG!!! ( BELIEVE ME, IT IS A SICKNESS) I SOLD EVERYTHING FROM HIS 3 FLAT SCREEN TV'S TO HIS JOHN DEERE RIDING LAWN MOWER!!!! But he kept taking me back and I kep doing it. I finally got tired of living with nothing, feeling like nothing, having nothing, and caring for nothing so I checked my self into a DETOX place here in Jacksonville, Florida where I live and Its state funnded so you dont have to worry over cost!! ANYWAYS, Like I said I was her, I have 2 kids as well, SHE HAS TO FINALLY GET TO NOTHING AND REALLY FEEL IT BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN BEGIN TO THINK ABOUT RECOVERY!!! I've been sober 102 days and we are finally starting to buy new things and I am getting trust back from him. SLOWLY, because he is still scared AS with any addict relapse can happen but its better than no trust at all!!! HE STUCK BY ME THROUGH IT ALL!! IF YOU HAVE THE STRENTGH, THEN STICK IT OUT AND LET HER KNOW YOU ARE BEHIND HER 100 MILLION BILLION PERCENT!!!!! IF YOU DONT THINK SHE CAN BE SAVED, DONT TRY. ONLY SHE CAN DO THAT WITH GOD'S HELP OF COURSE! I hope this helped you!
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Posted: March 7, 2012, 1:59 AM
YOU BETTER LEAVE YOUR GIRL MAN! IT HAPPEN TO ME JUST LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW, THE WORST IS AFTER ONE MONTH I TAKE OFF HER NAME OFF FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT MY GIRL FRIEND AND 1HER FRIEND ROB ME AT MY OWN HOUSE AFTER SHE SAW ME SOLD MY CAR JUST LITTLE OVER 1000.00 DOLLARS SHE TELL ME HER FRIEND ( JENNY ) COME TO VISIT HER THE 2 GIRLS HANG AROUND UNTIL I GO TAKE A SHOWER THEY TOOK MY PANT AND TAKE OFF AND RUN I DONT KNOW UNTIL I READY GO SLEEP AND I SAY MY SELF LETS PUT MONEY AWAY AND BAM! I DONT SEE MY PANT IN MY ROOM ANY MORE THEN I CALL HER THE PHONE TURN OFF I WAS VERY MAD AT MY SELF WHY I LETS HER AND HER 11 YEARS OLD STAY WITH ME ALMOST A YEAR AFTER 2 WEEKS I NEVER SEE HER AGAINT I HAS CALL POLICE AND TURN THAT 11 YEARS OLD GIRL TO POLICE. NOW I DONT GIVE A DAM ABOUT CRACK HEAD ANY MORE YOU CAN HELP THEM 100 TIMES AND FEED THEM TURN AROUND THEY STAB IN YOUR BACK
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Posted: November 19, 2012, 9:36 PM
I feel your pain and I know its hard. im going through it and its, by far the hardest thing in life to deal with. My boyfriend/babydaddy is lost off that drug. I've tried like hell to talk to him, but to no avail he relapses routinely. We have 4 beautiful children, and that still doesn't stop him. He has gone as far as to take their clothes, and sell it. I can't tell you how many times I have had to ask people for money for groceries. Because he has taken all the money to get high. And, that is just the beginning of the torture. I've given up I can no longer let him abuse my children and I. I don't suggest that, to each its own, but think about the babies. I wish I would have long ago. It would have saved a lot of time and heartache. I pray that she does seek help, and that your family is restored.
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Posted: November 23, 2012, 9:26 AM
You can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. I am a girlfriend of an addict. I thought it was different this time around...but it wasn't. After he wakes up from his damn "down trip" I'm going to do exactly what you should do.....Let him go.....and focus on myself.
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Posted: December 19, 2012, 1:34 AM
Each one to there own
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Posted: December 26, 2012, 6:28 PM
I am dating someone who has been using for a longtime. He work fulltime only to blow his paycheck on crack. I know I need to end the relationship. He has not stole from me but can not doing anything for me either. This year he went into rehab stayed clean for four months and start using again. Now he is finally listening to me attend groups ( I had to take him to get him started) and follow the 12 steps. Truthfully I do not think he is going to do what he says because he is always scheeming. My goal is to end the relationship where we do not talk, I don't answer his phone calls, nothing! If he go missing 1 more time. I hate to say it but I really am waiting for it to happened so I can be free of him once & for good, I got to this point by realizing he is and always will be a crackhead if he doesn't let go and let GOD have his way. ( Just venting)....
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Posted: January 1, 2013, 9:45 AM
When kids are involved you HAVE to put them first. Look into their sweet, innocent eyes and see that they don't deserve that life. You can't sacrifice your childrens happiness for your girlfriend. She s a adult and is making the choice to stay on drugs. Those children do not have a choice, all they have is YOU. and you don't want them growing up resenting you, they need to see you sacrificed anything and everything to keep them safe and give them the life they deserve. I've been clean now about 3 yrs but relapsed recently 3 times but ive looked at my son, whos 1, and said I cant do that to him. I put my daughter, whos 10, through that and she has a boat load of problems because of all the trauma i put her through. Shes now living with my step sister and her husband, where shes been for at least 6 yrs, and I couldnt be more grateful for them because they've been her everything when i couldnt be. And no im not getting her back, BY MY CHOICE, because she is so happy and loves where shes at and I'd NEVER hurt or traumatize her more than I already have. And she don't wanna come back to live but Thats ok with me because I get her every other weekend and she's living with the best people that she can who can give her the best possible future. I've sacrificed my happiness for my daughter to be happy. When you love your child unconditionally, you will make any and every sacrifice needed for them to be happy. And the one not on drugs is the one who's thinking straight so it shouldnt even be a question for you to put your children before your girlfriend. Good luck!
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Posted: February 22, 2013, 7:50 AM
I feel for you. Ive been living with my addicted gf for about 3 yrs, when i met her, she worked the streets. she told me she wanted a better life and to stop crack. I believed her. My life became HELL !! i can't repeat here but suffice to say i will never go through that life again. eventually she went to detox, twice then to rehab for 3 months. It took her about 2 months to relapse. It's been on and off lies and stealing money from me and taking off for 3 or 4 days at a time, her phone is off or doesn't answer and later she has a million excuses. I put up with it out of my misplaced loyalty and believe she will change but she doesn't. I've always been the kind of guy to give people chances but I'm out of everything, I'm done. There's no future with a addict except a bad one. you can continue giving more chances and putting your heart into it again and again. look up the stats on crack addiction recovery? it's scary but true. good luck if you hang in there, But i'm finally about to jump ship and save myself. There's got to be a better woman out there?
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Posted: June 24, 2013, 2:48 PM
Listen I lost my fiancee of 2 years to drugs. She sold all of our DVDs, our new TV and a kindle fire I bought her for Christmas. I had to walk away and it tears my heart on two everyday. I'm a man that cries everyday because of how much I love and miss her. You have to let go and don't look back. She was every part of me that I loved. I know time will heal me but her memory will always haunt me. You can't spend you life trying to be a Savior. If you need to talk you can email me at lyscik2@Gmail.com. god bless
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Posted: November 13, 2013, 7:56 PM
My girlfriend is an cocaine/crack addict, as she says "I smoke freebase NOT crack!", but she refuses to admit that she has a problem. She sneaks around the house, she lives in the bathroom, she has secret phone calls/texts, she will erase her messages from people of the sort I don't like her hanging out with. She can be very clever in what she "hides" from me but God is good. And I'm not sure what to do either. I do love her with all I've got but my health is fading due to all the stress she puts me through and its time to leave I know, but I'm going to need time as well. How do I do all of this and remain in her life? What do I do? I thought about Al-anon but not sure about that either. Well I have to go now. Sandra
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Posts: 433
Joined: December 14, 2009
Posted: November 14, 2013, 12:26 PM
Sandra RUN...
My ex-wife and 2 daughters ran from me and it's a good thing. She raised them well. Now I am being forced by law to remain away from my ex-fiance'. This is a good thing also as I was addicted to her and she tore my world down. Fortunately have the experience of hitting-bottom with crack. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. But it is in the indescision that many people fail. Be strong, be independent, be free. Above all else... Be Well, Larry -------------------- All gods send their drunks to AA My story.. https://www.addictionrecoveryguide.o...ST&f=16&t=63644
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