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Posted: July 27, 2015, 3:00 PM
I've decided I need to quit. I'm not looking down the road or worrying about the rest of my life but for right now, the drinking thing isn't working out.
I'm 29 years old. I started drinking at about 16. I screwed up in that I really liked day drinking, being the only one drunk, and drinking alone. Definitely didn't lay the foundation for normal social drinking. Anyway. I somehow got out of what definitely should've been a DUI at 19 and that got me sober for 5 years straight. I figured I wouldn't get luckier than that. At 25 I started socially drinking and did it pretty much without any problems. I had promised myself no more liquor -- only beer. So I'd have like 4 and be fine. Then it turned to 4 before the 4 and 4 after that. I've had 6 month stints here and there where I stopped but I always seem to come back. As of right now I'm home "sick" from work from drinking and this crap has to stop. I'm constantly on WebMD ensuring myself that I'm not about to die. I twitch, my chest has felt weird the last few days and my anxiety is astronomical. Alcohol (as it is wont to do) has also made me super fat which I'm not happy with. So I'm quitting. I am going to taper off because cold turkey terrifies me. I've done it before cold turkey but I'm very scared of seizures and DT's etc. I came on here basically to vent or maybe ask for advice, I've been ignoring the problem for so long. I've been more or less drunk every night for 8 months. When I cut back, I feel great. I'm mainly worried about the insomnia and anxiety. I'm on zoloft but I'm pretty sure the alcohol has been mostly negating it and the only real benefit it's been giving me is way worse anxiety. Well wish me luck and thanks for listening. | ||
Posts: 293
Joined: October 20, 2007
Posted: July 27, 2015, 3:20 PM
Hey JP09, | ||
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Posted: July 27, 2015, 3:30 PM
Thank you Ruth I did take that test earlier and went 11-1 on Yes's so it's safe to say I have a problem. I'm worried about my health more than anything. I already have a heart murmur and high blood pressure at 29 and know drinking is only going to make all this worse. Also I have gained tons of weight and just feel awful in general. I know from experience stopping drinking will make the lb's shed right off.
I'm scared but also excited Going into it this time I have more of a gameplan than the usual "I should cut this out" and go back to blackout drinking 2 days later. | ||
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Posted: July 27, 2015, 5:19 PM
Careful with "tapering off". I found it difficult to control my drinking. Good luck to you.
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: July 27, 2015, 5:46 PM
Quitting drinking is easy.
Staying quit is hard. Living sober became impossible. Until I joined AA Do it your way the best you can with all your heart & soul. If, like me, you find that in the end you can't do it then come to AA with millions of others. All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: July 27, 2015, 6:05 PM
I'm trying to taper just because I know the withdrawal is scary and with my heart/bp issues I think cold turkey would really mess with my system. I know it's very easy for a nip to turn into half a bottle so I'm trying to keep the mentality of drinking to not feel withdrawal more than drinking to get drunk. I did it my way when I was 19 and did it very anti-socially and that's why it didn't "take". So thank you for any and all input it helps more than you know. And I do want to do the AA thing I've never done it before. I always make the mistake of going it alone and that's not healthy at all especially when you're a hypochondriac anyway.
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: July 27, 2015, 6:24 PM
Hi Jp welcome to the board. I started drinking at age 14.. I was 53 years .old before I got sober. I lived with an addiction all those years telling myself lies about how I could manage it by myself and trying out various ways of trying to get sober.. tapering off being one of them.. needless to say it not worked for long.I guess there was a bottom that I needed to reach before I fully surrendered to the fact that I was an alcoholic. I lost a lot of years and have many regrets because tho I knew I had a problem I continued to not do anything really serious about it .I could still function and hide it pretty well until the last few years of my addiction.I am not saying you are an alcoholic but I do know that normal drinkers do not come to recovery boards seeking help. I found a solution to my problem in AA and in forums such as this and if you are interested there is stepchat.com where you can meet others who are in recovery and also attend online meetings if you are unable to attend face to face meetings... there is life after addiction. please do not wait until you have half of yours lived before getting the help you need and deserve.. you were not born to exist in an alcoholic fog. you were born to live. you can do this if you truly want it....keep coming back we will help in any way we can..............hugs and smiles from across the miles along with support....:)
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posted: July 27, 2015, 6:29 PM
thank you so much for the support pirate :)
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Posts: 293
Joined: October 20, 2007
Posted: July 29, 2015, 2:46 PM
Hey JP09,
How are you doing? | ||
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