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Posts: 7
Joined: April 17, 2015
Posted: April 20, 2015, 3:23 PM
Feeling low for the last couple of days.
Two weeks alcohol free I should be joyful but I am not. I should be concentrating on the joys of a sober life. I seem to need other people to love me. I guess if they love me then I don't have to the job is already being done. I have always disliked myself and because of this I have tried to be all things to all people everything but me. My first alcoholic drinks took all that hatred away and the long road to alcoholism had begun. There is a distance between my partner and I. It could be all in my head but I doubt that. Who can blame her for having enough. I live in the dark side of life and unfortunately as my partner it's a place I sometimes take her. I must stop looking on the dark side of life. I know I should love and respect myself or sobriety will not be as enjoyable as it can be. Yes I could get another partner but I will still have me. I better learn to love me. Question is how the heck do you love yourself? Thank you for reading xi | ||
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Posts: 7
Joined: April 17, 2015
Posted: April 20, 2015, 3:44 PM
Just a footnote friends.
When I mention my partner has to visit the dark side I ment it metaphorically I don't beat her. The only violence in my relationship is what I do to myself. | ||
Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 20, 2015, 6:50 PM
Hi cm.. when I came into recovery I was told I had the most self loathing that they had ever seen. with a lot of AA ,some sobriety time, a lot of work, a lot of help, a lot of counseling I began to forgive myself. If God could forgive who am I to not forgive me. That was like putting myself above God. Our disease causes us to do things and say things drunk that we would not do or say when we are sober. we are not bad people , we are sick people and like any other disease in order for us to get well we have to get treatment. some of us do well with just AA, others like me had to have some professional help in the medical field to get pass some issues and I also needed the tools I learned at a treatment center and my MOST IMPORTANT source of strength comes from the God of my understanding and my supporters that is a gift given to me in the rooms of AA. It was there I learned how to live sober....you can too. I drank from the age of 14 to 53.. if I can do it as have others so can you.. all you have to do is reach out. there is a light in the darkness....
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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