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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: November 24, 2014, 5:44 AM
Welcome to the board francine. would you please write a little more about yourself. we are willing to help...
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posted: November 24, 2014, 11:26 AM
Hi Pirate, im a mess. Been using pills, coke, crack, Heroin, Oxys etc for over 35 years. Always had to have something. Been working the entire time and now i cant stop drinking vodka. So easy..no waiting for my dealer or being sick. Just walk into the liquor store. Tapered off Suboxone 6 weeks ago and have a feeling that depression has set in since i no longer am taking Sub. Just feel awful. Drink all day and night havent slept more than 4 hours a night since i started drinking. Thats my story thanks for inquiring. _ Francine
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Posted: November 24, 2014, 11:50 AM
Pirate just read some of your posts and want to say that i am like you were. First thing when i wake up after 2 or 3 hours of sleep is slam down a few shots of vodka then get ready for work. I keep a bottle in my desk so im drinking 20 hours a day. No wonder im exhausted and unable to have a life. Its awful and i have hep c so drinking will kill me i know that.
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Posted: November 24, 2014, 1:09 PM
Francine, I'm pretty new here too. Welcome. You deserve the best life possible and you are taking the first step. I'm only about 75 days in but definitely feel better physically. Listen to these wise people and they can help guide you along with face 2 face meetings and reading. Just take a moment to like yourself for a second and give yourself a chance.
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Posted: November 24, 2014, 1:26 PM
Hi Dog. 75 days is a ton and dont think i can do 7 days much less 75. So glad that someone out there is feeling good..thx _ Francine
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Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: November 24, 2014, 1:39 PM
hi Francine , im a recovering alcoholic and drug addict i was sober for 8 years before i became addicted to pain killers - i have just quit the pills 30 days + ago- i can relate to how you are drinking i used to manage a pub so i had the "cure" at hand every morning and then all day - i drank for every reason under the sun- drank to forget- drank to remember - any excuse and none- i was in and out of rehab for years including AA i finally got sober in 2005- but i struggled really badly with deppression and other issues it was only after i went to see a counselor that i really got my head sorted- i am back working with her now after my recent problems with pain meds- i remember well my many de-toxes - i dont envy you that - but you know it has to be done- if you can get some librium 10's to help with the WD's i found them very good - only for 5 days though- they are also addictive- i wish you the best of luck- keep reaching out and stay strong -
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Posted: November 24, 2014, 2:40 PM
Thank you for your story and advice. Unable to go to detox..have to do this myself and i appreciate your words of wisdom. Already feeling awful only a few hours without a drink. Ugh
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Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: November 24, 2014, 3:41 PM
ok, but you need to be careful, stopping suddenly can be dangerous depending on how much you have been drinking and for how long- you could have a seizure - so be careful- you may have to reduce your alcohol intake over a few days- not easy either- good luck with it, remember it will get better-
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 2:53 PM
Hi. It's been 9 days since Ive had a drink. I have back pain constantly, insomnia, sleeping only 3 to 4 hours a night and depression. No energy..it's even difficult to take a shower. Took my last suboxone over 6 weeks ago not sure if thats coming into play here. Have to go back to work tomorrow after an 8 week temp disability. Don't even have the strenght to do laundry so i have a clean outfit for tomorrow. I have no intetest in anything other than getting past the next 5 minutes. Any suggestions?
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: December 7, 2014, 3:17 PM
Are you attending AA meetings?
All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 3:33 PM
Hi Bob, I havent even made it out of my apartment in 8 weeks except for dr appts (or a quick trip to the corner liquor store) Went to several NA meetings a few years ago...not for me. If i could lose these awful side effects i believe i can function without a drink. Just feeling tired and miserable. Take care _ Francine
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: December 7, 2014, 3:44 PM
Hi Francine welcome back.. There is a saying "if you are going through hell keep going".. so if you can just muster up enough strength and courage to get through until the side effects have worn off than I am sure you will improve.. It is awesome that you havent had a drink in 9 days.. you go girl! .. I feel for you and I know depression also makes a person feel tired and it is just a vicious cycle because depression is so much a part of addiction.I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better physically. Try and get as much rest as possible, and eat as healthy as you can with lots of fruit and veggies and drink lots of water.. I am attaching a link to a video that might help with your mind..I want you to know that you are not alone ,that someone out there in the cold cruel world cares. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65uKK7ilE2w -------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: December 7, 2014, 3:51 PM
If NA/AA is "not for you" then where you are is what you get.... and it'll get worse.
I mean no disrespect or bad Karma but what makes you think you can just walk away from Alcoholism/Addiction? Just "wish it away" ??.... That the disease is just a "side effect"? With me the drug of choice was the tip of the iceberg .. one of the symptoms. My real problem(s) began when I quit the booze/drugs, not when I used them. Tell me how you have improved over the last 8 weeks, how you will be fit and ready for work? I do wish you the best. Bob -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: December 7, 2014, 4:05 PM
Hi Francine, i was in a similar state when i was coming off tramadol, deppression and no energy, i cant give you any more advice than Pirate- you really are going to have to battle through this- i know its easy for me to say- i wish i could offer you more, because i do remember too well what it feels like- this really is what sorts out those that make it and those that dont. Francine you are going to have to get tough and beat this thing, you can do it, you will do it,- it will be hard but you will be so proud of yourself when you come through this- stay strong Francine and keep reaching out- you will be in my thoughts and prayers -
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 4:22 PM
TM, Papa Bear and Pirate . thanks for listening and the advice. It's clear that you have all been in my shoes. Another one of my many problems is that Ive been in a two year civil lawsuit re: my father's small estate that was left to me vs his girlfriend of two years. In the first year i accrued $27,000.00 in legal fees and had to discharge my attorney. Since then I've been fighting in court without an attorney...not good. I go back to court end of January. If i lose...m y wages will be garnished and i will not be able to keep my own apartment (and lavish lifestyle that im accustomed to....insert sarcasm here). Anyway aside from this worry i have hep c and am so self absorbed that i can't stand myself. Well thanks for listening. Francine
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 4:31 PM
Ps. I am not fit to go to work tomorrow but have to fake it because my injury is healed and my temp disability ended on Friday. Dont know how im going to manage. Been in bed for 8 weeks with my brother stopping by daily to take care of me. Plus he's an alcoholic too. What a dumb life i live. Ugh
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Posts: 674
Joined: August 17, 2014
Posted: December 7, 2014, 4:43 PM
"manage" is what we do Francine, we put more s...t into our systems that would kill a horse and yet we get up and do the same s..t again and again- you gotta adopt the same attitude to getting through the next few days- one day at a time, hour by hour if necessary- you gotta tell yourself your gonna do this tomorrow- you can do this Francine, it is amazing how strong we are when we have to be- you can beat this s..t Francine - stay strong.....
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: December 7, 2014, 5:00 PM
You live a life of a person that is sick Francine because you are and there is no easy cure . For those of us who are still alive it is because we chose recovery over our addiction and we did WHATEVER it took to get well because we wanted it. So if you want to live a better life than you have to put on your big girl booties and get up the courage and do what it takes to get sober/clean. Sobriety does not come to you. you have to go to it and that road is hard and long but worth it. There are programs of various kinds to help you when you become willing.We weren't choosey when it came to our addiction and i dont think we can afford to be choosey or particular when we try to get sober..Reach out and grab whatever is available. eXcuses can kill us.. All I know is that when I went to AA I met a lot of people who were sober and living a good life, so I figured if it worked for them it just might work for me.. It wasnt a bed of roses by any means but here I am today alive and well and i am free from a demon that wants me dead.
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 5:03 PM
TM, it never occured to me that just "managing" thru life was an option. I always imagined that everyone elses life was easy and i was an outsider who constantly caused my own problems by partying and drinking. You have put things in perspective and now i realuze that I'll never feel like a non user. Reality stinks.
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Posted: December 7, 2014, 5:05 PM
Pirate what happens when you can't think of a good reason to stay clean?
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