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1 Day Sober From Alcohol 3yrs Sober From Other Stu
annaneko
Posted: July 14, 2013, 9:56 PM







Finally one day sober again from alcohol gonna try this again, know i deserve it ready to fight but feel a lil weak hoping tomorrow i can continue to fight
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Posted: July 15, 2013, 6:34 AM


Posts: 5120
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Anne welcome to the board... we all have to start somewhere and taking that first step is huge and it takes a lot of courage to do so.Good on you for making the decision. Have you thought about attending an AA meeting? You will need support and understanding . please post again and tell us more of your story...

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 15, 2013, 8:57 AM


Posts: 3947
Joined: July 18, 2006



Welcome, annaneko, glad you found this place. One of the things I did when I first started getting sober was come here and ask tons of questions about what other people did.

If you want, can you share a little about your drinking--what brought you here, how you drank, etc?

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
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annaneko
Posted: July 17, 2013, 12:01 AM







HI all I would attend AA meetings only because of where I work I would be going against HIPPA and so forth and don't want to invade others privacy. I do a lot of step work on my own though and since i'm not able to get to meetings i thought i would start here. I started drinking when i was about eleven years old socially or at parties. I guess i should start off with my i understand addiction is a family disease and am aware that it ran in the family. My dad was a cocaine addict and dealer and so I quickly got caught up in drinking as my first, than i moved on to marijuana when i was 12yrs old and tried shrooms and ecstacy when i was in high school. I mostly stuck to marijuana all through high school and junior high. I had a "change" in high school when I miscarried and that drove me into hanging with gangs and using crank, and anything else i could get my hands on. I sold cocaine and used cocaine just to be sure it was good stuff i was selling and then i got into legal trouble got thrown into a program fooled my counselor there and kept using meth got pregnant was abstinent, had my baby than had a domestic violence issue with my babies father and started drinking heavily and it was readily available since i worked at a liqour store and with drinking i would smoke weed and use what ever i could get my hands on. I again moved and got sober got into school and figured out i wanted to be a substance abuse counselor took program for two years graduated, and started in the mental health field right away. after loosing my first client i started to drink a glass of wine here and there, got pregnant again and didn't drink or use for three years than drank glass of wine here and there got pregnant again stayed sober for the entire pregnancy than glass of wine here and there and it's continued. I realized though that it was becoming a weekend thing to have a whole bottle of wine and figured it's time to stop it's becoming a habit and i'm an addict can't handle it so here i am. :) and i am grateful to you all another day sober and ready for the journey
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 8:57 AM


Posts: 3947
Joined: July 18, 2006



Welcome back. Your story sounds like many I've heard from women in the rooms--and if you're worried about HIPAA and anonymity and so forth, trust me when I say that there are plenty of professions represented in the rooms of recovery. Nurses, dentists, long-haul truckers, retired teachers, admin professionals, students, etc. It's a cross section of life--and everyone is there for the same reason, generally speaking. This board is an excellent place to start, though, and I lurked for months before getting up the courage to speak out.

Then they couldn't shut me up! I asked alot of questions, even to questioning what would be said in meetings that I started to attend. I didn't trust anyone...

So welcome back. I think I can speak for most of the regulars here when I say that we're here to help. Just keep coming back.

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 1:41 PM


Posts: 9134
Joined: December 1, 2005



Welcome Anna,

I could really relate to your share. I'm glad you found us.

xoxo
Stacey

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Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 7:07 PM


Posts: 224
Joined: May 23, 2009



Welcome.
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 10:19 PM


Posts: 21
Joined: July 17, 2013



thanks guys takes a lot to share and of course i leave some stuff out but for the most part as honest as i can get. Today was a ruff day, long, stressful, and draining, again i work on my gratuity list and look at what i do have to be thankful for and today that's feeling. Feeling emotions is the hardest i want to numb them out so badly, but i remind myself that what it really does is dig me into a deeper hole of depression and shame. I will look into meetings but in the past it was always NA or AA guess i'll just play it as what feels comfortable. Think HIPPA was just a lousy excuse :) thanks guys!!

Anna
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 10:32 PM


Posts: 3947
Joined: July 18, 2006



It's okay, Annaneko. We've all been embarrassed about the truth, but getting it out really frees you up, doesn't it? It's O.K. to not have all the answers and to have to ask for help. It's MY experience that going it alone only minimizes my chances to exceed and besides, the people had some great ideas on how to approach life in a new way. You keep coming back. Share and take suggestions--you'll find a ton of help if you'll take it.

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
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Posted: July 17, 2013, 11:33 PM


Posts: 21
Joined: July 17, 2013



how do you let go of the past when it keeps haunting you? For instance I live in a small town so everyone knows everyone and since my first sons father still uses everyone insinuates i still do. Also one more question what if i'm unsure of what or who my higher power is? I believe something keeps me sane but i don't know what it is yet. I have not been very fond of medications but at times i feel manic one minute i'll feel really good and the next so depressed all i want to do is run away. i've always been against meds and trying to fight it on my own but does anyone have suggestions? my drs know i'm an addict so i always feel like their going to judge me.
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Posted: July 18, 2013, 8:40 AM


Posts: 3947
Joined: July 18, 2006



Okay, I'll take a whack at your questions, Annaneko, but first: Congratulations for coming back! You'll find the help you need and the answers you seek as there are alot of people here who have been through what you're facing. Don't quit 5 minutes before The Miracle happens, okay?
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how do you let go of the past when it keeps haunting you?
MY experience with the haunting past of my shameful and humiliating acts was that I had to work The Steps--the 12 Steps? Working these with a person who'd done them before gave me insight to a new way of living where I could eventually cast away my past and start living a life I (and my family) can be proud of. It doesn't come all at once and it isn't easy--but is simple for complicated people like us. Again: Don't quit 5 minutes before The Miracle happens.
QUOTE
what if i'm unsure of what or who my higher power is?
It's not important to define Him/Her/It right away--just try to remember that, "There is one and you ain't it." If you're confused about that, make a list of ten things that are more powerful than you are right now. You're Higher Power has been Drugs/Alcohol for years, and it's stealing your soul, so why not try something else? You can use MY HigherPower if you want until you find one through The Steps. You're worth it.
QUOTE
feel manic one minute i'll feel really good and the next so depressed all i want to do is run away.
Yeah, that roller coaster of emotions sucks. And it's normal. When I started getting sober and clean I'd laugh at inappropriate times, cry at the stupidest stuff, and pout incessantly for not getting my own way--all things I would have tried to numb with drugs and alcohol. IT IS NORMAL. We bathed our emotions in substances to keep them under wraps (dead like a mummy)--afraid that someone might find out how we really felt. Now they're sticking out all over! It's OKAY. Just keep doing what's suggested, get to meetings like you're life depends on it, keep coming back and don't use/drink in-between. Change one thing in your life--everything. New Playgrounds, New Playthings, New Playpals.

QUOTE
my drs know i'm an addict so i always feel like their going to judge me.
Doctor's don't judge, but they can get frustrated too. There's a book called, "Alcoholics Anonymous," and you can probably find one at an AA meeting or a flea market--even buy one from Amazon.com. In the first section there's a doctor's letter and he says that the medical community finds itself helpless to help the alcoholic (and addict) by all conventional means. What seems to be required is a psychic change--a spiritual awakening of a part of us that was dead (or numbed). That doesn't mean you go around handing out pamphlets at the airport, but we find a relationship with a Power Greater Than Ourselves that we can rely on to help us get and stay sober. A personal one just for us.

All new stuff, I'm sure, but it's how millions of us have gotten and stay sober. We go to meetings; we read the literature; we work with others in recovery; we grow in spiritual maturity and wind up being not just better, but better than well. Happy, joyous, and free.

You keep coming back. More will be revealed. And if you slip up, come in and tell us and take suggestions. Get right back at it. You are worth it.

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
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Posted: July 21, 2013, 5:56 AM


Posts: 5120
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Ann how are you doing? One day at a time you can overcome the challenges with the help of your supporters.. if you have a sponsor , do the steps and concentrate on recovery and not what others may be thinking.. we have a saying in AA .. "it is none of my business what others think about me.. Just do what you have to do to get well and take the love and support from those who are holding out their hand. I pray you will recover.. YOU are WORTH it.....Hope to see you post again.............hugs and smiles from across the miles..........

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 21, 2013, 2:02 PM


Posts: 21
Joined: July 17, 2013



Relapses suck and shame and guilt suck too. Can't believe it well actually i can but just shoulding myself like always need to get to a meeting. feel depressed
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Posted: July 21, 2013, 2:05 PM


Posts: 1
Joined: July 21, 2013



As a parent of a son who has struggled with drugs, this infuriates me beyond description. I can totally relate to the desperation to find a solution to the terrible disease of addiction, and I know what it feels like to be willing to do almost anything. please call 888-513-6392..
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Posted: July 22, 2013, 8:02 PM


Posts: 21
Joined: July 17, 2013



two days sober trying to start this all over again..
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Posted: July 22, 2013, 8:12 PM


Posts: 428
Joined: May 5, 2012



Hi, just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. Alcohol is a depressant, so when it is all out of your system you will feel so much better. Can't change the past, but you can have a say in your future. Don't matter what folks think about you cuz, the ones who love you won't judge you, and the ones who don't love you don't matter. Wishing you well, and keep coming back;) You can do this.
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Posted: July 22, 2013, 8:32 PM


Posts: 5120
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Ann.. the fact that you are trying again and have two days is awesome! Don't beat yourself up but instead be proud of yourself for taking the steps you are taking to recover.. A word of advice for you.. it is wise to check ALL ingredients in food and products that you are eating and using... even a small amount of the ingredient alcohol can cause a craving.. also avoid anything that says extract, such as vanilla extract, lemon extract.. anything extract is usually done with alcohol. .. hairsprays, body sprays, lotions, hand creams etc.. mouthwash all contain alcohol.. there are some products that you can buy that is alcohol free....so you can begin by being diligent about what you ingest and what you use. All mind altering meds and drugs such as sleeping pill. anything with sedatives in it affect the same part of the brain as alcohol and should be avoided.. Do as much research as you can on your disease, get to know your "enemy" before going into battle... AA can help you learn how to live a sober life... Make up your mind to do it and do it... You are no different than the rest of us who have had to get sober and if we can do it so can you. It will feel uncomfortable for a while and It is not easy but the rewards are great and worth fighting for.. You have experienced what alcoholism is like and what it does and it never gets any better only worse. It is a PROGRESSIVE disease. You are not alone and you can do this, when you want to be sober MORE than you want to be drunk you will find a way.. keep coming back you are among friends.

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 22, 2013, 10:05 PM


Posts: 21
Joined: July 17, 2013



thank you pirate and karraster great words to go by. Trying to stay positive and already started using non alcohol mouth wash but good ideas on extracts as well i appreciate you all soooooo much!
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Posted: July 23, 2013, 5:32 AM


Posts: 5120
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi Ann.. welcome to another day. The choice is yours today how you will use it.. You can give in to the demon alcohol or you can choose to stay sober and work on that.. As someone who is in recovery I can assure you that the latter is the wisest choice... you can do it. I did it one day at a time....Don't think about tomorrow, next week, next month.. JUST TODAY and do whatever it takes to stay sober today.....sending support, encouragement and HOPE.keep coming back....... also you may want to check out stepchat.com... an AA chat and online meetings. lots of support there.

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: July 23, 2013, 8:37 AM


Posts: 58
Joined: June 16, 2013



I can relate to what your feeling. I have a pretty impresive collection of silver chips. But it has been awhile since I last drank and I promise you that IT GETS SO, SO MUCH BETTER!
You can do this!
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