Hard Going
Posted: February 3, 2013, 3:58 PM

Hi everyone
I don't post often, but I come here daily to read and see how you all are doing .I am in early recovery, I have had a very hard day.I wanted to drink so bad, my legs were week, my heart was pounding so hard and fast, it was scarry.I have said the serenity prayer about 100 times, talked to my sponsor and read some of the big book. I couldn't get my mind off of beer .
But, guess what I DIDN'T drink !!!
I am finding recovery very hard ,but I will be so happy tomorrow morning when I wake up and go to my job. I will be so happy when the day comes when I have no desire to drink,if it ever comes. So many in AA have told me it will come.
please pray for me and share your stories of what early recovery was like for you, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.

Posted: February 3, 2013, 8:21 PM

Posts: 5917
Joined: January 5, 2008

Hi Island. I am proud of you for not drinking.Each time you ride out a craving you become stronger.. Recovery isn't easy but you must remember that living a drunk life isn't easy either but recovery will give you a life whereas drinking will take it. we who are sober all had to go through the cravings in early recovery and the only way to not get them is to not drink..the longer you stay away from the drink the farther apart your cravings will become..For EVERY slip you feed the beast.It is just not you who have felt this way, it is everyone of us , it is no different for you than it was for us.. we all had to fight,, we all had to struggle ,we all had to find a way to not drink... there is a solution to your problem.... and you can do it as well as anyone else.. you can and you will ... Be proud of your accomplishments and for every time you turn your back on the bottle be proud of yourself... you have come a long way since we first met, you are progressing so don't be too hard on yourself.. You can go back to work with a smile and a sense of pride instead of feeling ashamed and remorseful... The world is yours.. don't let alcohol take it from you, you are worth so much more my beautiful friend.

Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
Posted: February 4, 2013, 9:10 AM

Posts: 4144
Joined: July 18, 2006

"Once more:  The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink.  Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense.  His defesne must come from a Higher Power."  Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 43, 4th Ed.
I had to rely on the Serenity Prayer almost exclusively for the first months of my sobriety--and I didn't have an effective relationship with the God of my understanding back then, either. I had to rely on the people in this forum to educate me in the form of suggestions; I had to go to meetings to find out what others were doing; I had to develop an honest, open and willing attitude; and I had to do The Steps. It was only then that I started to develop the spiritual tools necessary to stave off this disease and begin to live a sober life instead of gripping onto what little sobriety I had. I had to focus on the solution, not my problems....
Keep at it, Island. And don't drink no matter what!


Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
Posted: February 4, 2013, 10:25 AM

Posts: 430
Joined: May 5, 2012

Only hours before I had my last drink, I was thinking how hopeless I was, that I could not stop, that I could not help myself. That really got me down too, to admit that I was licked, that I had failed and was powerless. It was at that moment I cried out to God to help me. He did. He still does, one day at a time, each and every day. One thing I've observed is that most alcoholics are very creative people. Let's face it, we certainly were creative when it came to drinking. We constantly came up with new and inovative ways to manage getting drunk. Put that creativity and effort into not taking a drink. Hopefully, like me you will find that it is far easier to do a thing that we know is right and good than to spend all that effort and time in something that will eventually destroy us and our relationships. Hang in there Island. Every day you do not drink is investing in the most important thing on the planet.....you.
Posted: February 4, 2013, 10:31 AM

Posts: 10
Joined: February 3, 2013

That is great that you have decided to quit drinking and you are succeeding one craving at a time. I believe you can do it. I am not a drinker but my husband is and I see what it does to him I have recently quit smoking weed. I would very much like him to quit drinking as I worry for his life and our future it is very hard to get ahead in life when you are constantly paying for addictions.
Posted: February 4, 2013, 5:03 PM

Posts: 574
Joined: February 25, 2009

Hey island! Rooting for you and keeping you in my prayers. You can do this!
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