Update . My .goodbye To Alcohol Letter
Posted: May 1, 2009, 7:13 AM

Posts: 5898
Joined: January 5, 2008

I had posted this last year but since then have made some changes to it. I am excited because this letter among many other goodbye letters from other recovering addicts is going to be published in a book and distributed throughout addiction centers.It may seem to some to be a bit corny but I wrote it as if I was saying goodbye to a lover,after all alcohol was once the Love of my life so I thought it would be appropriate to write it in that context. lol

Dear Alcohol
I remember the first time I met you. It was so exciting. You were the piece that I felt was missing all my life.You made me feel wonderful,happy and carefree. I feel in love with you from the start. As our relationship grew ,I wanted to see you more and more. You shared my happy times giving me glorious hours of pleasure.You gave me confidence making me feel independent and self assured. You made me feel pretty and the glow you gave me made me so warm and contented inside. You were my comfort in sad times helping me cope.You were the one who brought me such joy when I had something to celebrate. You meant so much to me. I could never dream of not having you in my life. At first I was content to just be with you on the weekends. You were fun to take to a party. But more and more you became such an important part of my life that I wanted you with me all the time. For years you were my companion ,my best friend,my crutch. I became so dependent on you that I couldn't let you go.Life was unthinkable without you. I wanted you with me all the time. I wanted and needed to be wrapped in the glorious bliss that I would feel when I would come to you. I don't know exactly when my feelings started to change for you. Maybe it was when you became too controlling. You took away my independence. You kept me a prisoner in my own home not allowing me to go places and do things that I once enjoyed doing.I couldn't answer the telephone,or a knock on the door because you wanted me all to yourself because ours was a secet love affair by day. No one knew that you visited me in the mornings,well not at first anyway.But we became careless and it was getting harder and harder to keep you a secret. You robbed me of my energy. I was having a harder and harder time trying to keep up with your demands. You were taking me away from my family and my friends. You took away my self respect,my dignity, my selfworth. You made me a liar. Oh how I could lie so easily.!You began to take me to dark places. I began doing things that I never dreamed I would do. The farther in the darkness I went the more I needed you but instead of giving me the release I wanted you took me further in the pit where I was being buried with guilt,shame,remorse,anger and hatered.Then when you had me beaten mentally you began to physically abuse me.Remember the time I lay in an hospital bed hemoragging because of what you had done to my blood? I wanted out of our relationship but I was too weak.Death was easier to comprehend than living a life with you and also living without you. You finally made me hit bottom. I was so lost and so alone and so ashamed,I just wanted to die.How could you do that to me? Why did I not see that you were an evil controlling demon that abuses people and destroys live? Did you mess with my mind ?I started to develop a love hate relationship with you. I began to despise you. How could I go on? How could I live without you in this ravaged body that now belonged to you. In despair and hopelessness I cried to God to help me. A feeling of peace or the presence of something greater than you surrounded me.somewhere deep inside me there came a flicker of hope .That hope turned into strength and the will to set myself free of you. It wasn't easy. Many days and nights I could hear you calling out to me begging me to take you back. My need for you was so great that I would cry and whimper like a lost child but God's Grace was greater than you.I was given the strength to let you go. I rose from the ashes of what was left of me to begin a new life. It was hard leaving you behind and I still think of you from time to time and there have been days when I wanted you so much. But I think of all the turmoil and grief and heartache you caused me. I have a new life now. One where I can remember everything I do. I can go places and drive myself there. I go to church,to bible study,I am a volunteer in my community. I don't look for you in the mornings anymore,I have no need of you in my life. My door is open and I answer the telephone whenever it rings. I am free.I will not forget you nor will I forget how cunning and baffling you are so I am always on the alert for you.Some days you may stalk me but I know you are there and what you are capable of. I will live without you" one day at a time." I will remember you and I will never forget where you took me....I will remember......Goodbye Alcohol


This post has been edited by pirate on May 1, 2009, 7:15 AM

Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
Posted: May 1, 2009, 8:21 AM

Posts: 573
Joined: February 25, 2009

Pirate, that was really fantastic. Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
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