Posted: December 13, 2014, 3:17 PM
okay, so my boyfriend has been on this synthetic crap ("legal") since he was in 8th grade. Well actually he just smoked weed then he got into this more as he got into school and saw it around his family. Well he got caught for having some stuff that was illegal in the US and got put on probation and was sent to live with his mother. This is when I met him. He had been clean for a year so I figured why not give him a chance ya know? Well it seemed PERFECT for 8 months. Like I had no weariness or anything. Like I trusted what he told me. Well we went out with his family one night and it turns out he was high and his mother found out. He told me but promised it was just a thing and he wasn't bad and it was all ok.(turns out he had been on it since 2 weeks into our relationship) Well I didn't believe that and I told him I'd support him but I couldn't be with with him. Like not intimate like we were before. And he said he'd prove he was better and everything and that he quit. That he realized what he was throwing away. Well fast forward 2 weeks and he's on the vent bc whatever he smoked 5 DAYS BEFORE was still in his system and attacking the part of his brain that controlled hunger, thirst, and the need for sleep. It's been about a month since then and we kept in contact and I want to be with him but I think he needs to focus on himself and getting better now as well as me getting better. I love him more than anything. Even more than myself. Which is why I've like taken a step back. Like I support him in all his meetings and his want to quit. But is been a month since the vent and he's telling me he's not addicted anymore. Like I don't think that's possible or the truth. As of now I think we are just toxic for eachother. All I do is worry about him and he can't focus solely on getting better when we have my family constantly saying how terrible of a person he is. We are currently having a break to where we can focus on our own well being as well as make ourselves better. And if we are meant to be we will be. That's the thing I think. If me and him are made for eachother this won't change that. I just need to focus on myself for now bc I'm sick with worry and I'm pushing my entire family away trying to make sure that we're happy. And he's not solely focussed on getting better. He's focussing on me and my family bc they're always on me about our relationship. Am I doing the right thing by saying that we both need our time to get better? But that like I'm still here for him? Is that wrong? Like he says he's waiting for me and I just want him to be happy. Like I don't want anyone else but I want us to be in a happy relationship as well. I Still want him like he wants me. But I want us to be able to breathe without the other one pumping out chest. I just don't know if me doing this will help him or just make it worse. Can someone help? Like I don't believe the addictions gone. I know that's not true. But he said he's trying to separate me and the addiction like they told him to do in the group. I think that's a somewhat good idea but lying and saying it's gone isn't. I just need like some outside advice bc my family obviously doesn't like him bc I've lied about talking to him and I've wothdrawn from them in the process. They want him gone but he's not bad. I know someone has had to be in this situation and I just need to know if I'm making more of the right decisions bc lately I havent. With the lying and withdrawing and focusing solely on him. He's okay with the break. He's actually supporting of the fact that I'm gonna go get happy. He wants my to not be worried constantly. I'm just very confused about the entire situation. Should I even want him back. He had been lying about it since the very beginning. Is that just the addiction? I'm at a loss here. I've been on this forum many times but I never wrote and just reading did help. I just need help now.