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Posted: June 17, 2015, 1:30 PM
I am on day 1 of my withdrawal. I'm at work and actually getting through it pretty well, the withdrawal is more mental than anything else.
A little background about me, I have been addicted for close to 2 years. Back in December of 2014, I was capable of detoxing myself cold turkey, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I relapsed a couple months ago. I knew I've been spiraling back down that ugly path, but I kept going. I decided today that it was time to stop it for good. I'm not having too many of the physical aspects that I did last time, I'm actually at work, but I'm just not all the way there. My mind is nothing but a fog and I have no desire to do my work, I work in an educational setting, so skipping out on work for a week or two just isn't an option. I haven't told my boyfriend about my issue, and I'm not sure if I'm going to. I just want to get through it and be done. I guess I'm starting this thread as a way to look back on my progress and requesting support from other individuals going through the same thing. I know this isn't going to be easy, but it's something that I want so bad. | ||
Posts: 57
Joined: November 26, 2014
Posted: June 23, 2015, 9:44 AM
Im glad you decided to get clean again after only relapsing a couple months ago, the sooner you get back into recovery the better,but what went wrong? were you going to meetings? do you have a sponsor? and why doesnt your boyfriend know that your an addict? its who you are.. Honesty is the only way you are going to get through this alive.. otherwise you are just going to keep lying and keep finding yourself back in active addiction. you have to be able to accept that your an addict, that is step one... that means admitting it to the people you are close to as well. It is a huge part of who you are and if you cant even share that with your boyfriend then why are you with him? That doesnt really sound like a healthy relationship. If he really knew you at all he would know by now that something was up and be able to tell that you are hiding something or that you are acting different. Just trying to help you out here. and I hate to burst your bubble... but your not going to be able to just "get through it and be done".. recovery is a life long process.
Sorry for the tough love but I really just want to help you and other addicts who are just like me because I read your post and it sounds like me two years ago. And I just want to help people not to make the same mistakes I did. I thought I could just stop using drugs and not do anything to work on my recovery and be fine and not go to a single meeting and look what happened to me, I relapsed. And I ended up right back where I was before, even worse. But Now I know what NOT to do, I have a sponsor now, I go to NA meetings at least two times a week and I have learned so much from them, I feel stronger now about my recovery now than I ever have before. What have you got to lose?? I hope you realize how lucky you are to be given a second chance and take it. Go to meetings, take some time off work, get a new phone number, lose your old contacts, or your never going to be truly happy. Take it from me. I know what I'm talking about. I'm a recovering addict with 10 months clean. I was using opiates and anything else i could get my hands on for about 5 years on and off and in that time I had two relapses, I know how hard it can be, but relapsing made me realize that being clean is what I more than anything in this world. And in two months I will have One year clean from EVERYTHING. I hope you find your way to an NA meeting. Those meetings have kept me clean and more importantly they saved my life. I truly wish you the best. | ||
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