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Posted: March 1, 2014, 1:35 PM
Hi please can anyone give me some advice I guess I have an addictive personality I started taking drugs when I was 14 I'm 27 now I have been addicted to speed, cocaine and weed at different stages in my life but I stopped taking all drugs about 2 years ago and weed about a year ago but I can't seem to beat this food addiction I looked it up and from what I've read I seem to have binge eating disorder I have had this unhealthy relationship with food for about 5 years or more now up until a year a go I went up to 15 and a half stone which is really big for me I locked myself a way at home and didn't go out I used to smoke a lot of weed I thought that's why I got so big but then I lost all that weight just through healthy eating but every now and then about once a week I would have a binge and when I say a binge I would eat more than even a family of 4 could eat all to myself and more sometimes I will be sick but that's not that often now and the reason I make myself sick is not even to loose weight it's so I can fit more food in me then after I've eaten too much I hate myself I eat so much my stomach really hurts and I feel so ill then I eat more then more I know this must be damaging my body and it's started happening more and more often now and I'm putting on weight again when I go back on my diet I am so strict that even if I cut myself from cutting vegetables I won't lick the blood off my finger in case I put on weight but then I go and binge eat 2 days later I must be doing so much damage to myself inside all I think about is food all the time I weigh myself loads of times a day I feel really bad about myself how do I get rid of this food addiction I don't really want to go to the doctor all they do in this country (England) is hand out antidepressants I don't want to take medication I don't agree with it I want to get better naturally can any one help please? when I know I'm getting food like when I've ordered a take away or walking to the shops to get food I feel like I did when I was going to get drugs I get like a high then when I've eaten to the point of being past full up then the guilt and self hatred come just like drugs I really don't want to feel this way about food it stops me from taking up invites to see friends as I need to loose weight but I know I'll eat too much if I go so I stay in so I can stick to my diet as I want to loose weight again but 2 days later I'm binge eating again I just can't help myself if I'm going to eat and have a "bad day" I'd rather eat on my own so I can eat more and really pig out which I couldn't do with friends so I end up not meeting friends so I can stay in and eat on my own
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Posts: 11
Joined: January 9, 2014
Posted: March 3, 2014, 12:08 PM
Hi May, I wish I had the answers you seek but I don't know myself. All I can do is share some things that have helped me. I suffer with BED too - it's awful, I really understand that. Like you, I've been addicted to all sorts of things - valium, pain killers, alcohol, weed - you name it.
I was stuck in a vicious circle where I would virtually starve myself for a couple of days in order to try to lose weight, then cave in and go on a massive binge for a couple of days, then starve myself to lose some of the weight, then cave in and go on a massive binge - and so it would go on and on. I've tried to break the cycle by not trying to diet strictly on non binge days - these were a trigger for another binge. Instead I try to eat sensibly and don't let myself get hungry. Then when I have the urge to binge on chocolate etc I eat something healthy - a piece of fruit, a jacket potato etc whatever I eat something - just not my binge food. So far it's working but I still have slips - it's just that things are not as grim as they once were... I wish I could be more help. Keep posting, I'll check back here to see if there are any more replies (I'm in the UK too btw). ((Hugs)). This post has been edited by Poppy12 on March 3, 2014, 12:10 PM | ||
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Posted: March 9, 2014, 10:36 AM
Thanks for your reply I have done really well all week then yesterday I had a binge but I kind of shut it short at about 3:00 in the afternoon I threw all the fattening food in the bin ( I know it's a waste ) then I went for a run and thought right I'm just going to eat 2 tins of fruit tonight now and that's it but I even binge on fruit I ended up eating 5 big tins of fruit and 2 punnets of frozen blueberries then today I said to myself right I will stick to my diet today I started off really well a healthy porridge for breakfast then a fruit smoothie then for lunch a salad with cottage cheese and some fruit the thing is I couldn't stop thinking about nice fattening food pizza hut in particular my good friend asked me if I wanted to go to the park with her today as it's an unusually nice day for this time of year in England I really wanted to go but said I couldn't deep down I probably knew I'd end up ordering the pizza hut I go too and thro in my mind I really shouldn't order the food think how bad I'll feel afterwards, I know I will regret it, I'll never get to my target weight etc but then I think up an excuse for each of them in my head I don't think I'll feel bad it's only one last time, I'll really enjoy this, it won't matter I'll get back on the diet tomorrow so then I ended up giving in and ordering the pizza hut not just a normal take away for one though no the biggest pizza they do, macaroni cheese, 2 x portions of cheesey nacho's, 3 x desert's with ice cream, cheesey triangles and chicken wings waiting for the pizza hut to arrive I felt so happy and couldn't wait for it to get here I even wrote down a diet I would follow starting from tomorrow then it arrived and I just ate as soon as I got to the point where I was full then ate more that's when I started to regret this and hate myself and want to cry but I still kept eating now I've still got some left but I know for a fact I will eat all that food if not all then most of it and by the end of today my stomach will hurt so much I'm worried about the damage that this is having on my health I really want to stop and just eat a normal diet I've been trying but I can't :( I have started writing down a food diary yesterday and today after 2 weeks I am going to take it to the doctor and see what he will offer me but no way am I taking any medications I'm hoping he will offer me some kind of therapy
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Posted: March 9, 2014, 12:45 PM
I forgot to write I can't even afford these take away's and binges There's so many other things I should be spending my money on
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Posts: 1
Joined: March 15, 2014
Posted: March 15, 2014, 12:42 PM
Hi May
I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to let you know I've read your posts and I really feel for you. While I don't binge eat, I also have a weight issue and constantly start diets and fail to stick to them. I know what you mean about refusing social invitations because you fear being able to stick to your diet. Sorry, I don't have the answers - if i did, I'd be a size 10!! Anyway, good luck when you visit the doctor, I hope you get the help you need. Keep posting on here, I would love to know how you get on. | ||
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Posted: March 27, 2014, 3:43 PM
Well here I am again half way through eating a pizza hut big enough to feed a family of 6 and half way through my 2nd 2 litre bottle of cola feeling ill, fat, guilty, sad and horrible I hate myself and wish I never ate all that food I'll still keep eating though even though my stomach hurts then I'll have a sleepless night keep waking up in the night feeling dread of what I have eaten it happens every time I've been trying so hard to stick to the diet since I wrote my first post I can last up to 4 days on the diet then I just can't take it anymore and go to the shop or order takeaway I have spent way more money than I can afford to on food that is another thing plus I have been running every day for a month too hoping to loose weight I have been doing really well with the running I hate running I'm so un fit even now and I dread having to run every morning it really feels like hell but I've still done it and for what all that hard work all that torture for nothing I still haven't lost weight I've actually put weight on a lot of weight because I keep having these binges I feel like all that running was for nothing this has got to stop now! I've bought a self help book about how to stop over eating from amazon I'm going to read that plus I have got 2 weeks worth of Cambridge diet shakes where you only drink 3 milkshakes a day and that's it apart from water then after them two weeks I have written down a healthy low fat diet I will follow I think the 2 weeks of Cambridge diet will help as it will shrink my stomach and get my appetite back on an even keel so I won't be able to eat as much and won't be so hungry I'm going to try my hardest to stick to this I can't let myself down this time I need to have will power I'm not happy like this I need to loose weight it's nearly summer I want to be able to wear all them nice little tops I have in my wardrobe not be too embarrassed to go out and have fun with my friends sitting in a beer garden in the sun. I want to walk round in little crop tops and feel good about myself I can't let myself down I won't let myself down I need to overcome this binge eating disorder before it's too late I'm only 27 I don't want to look back in 10 years time and think how much I've wasted my life being fat and miserable it's going to be hard but I will do this!
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Posted: January 9, 2015, 3:52 PM
At 24 years old, I was desperate to stop bingeing. I was a little under my goal weight but I felt like I could shoot back up the scale at any time. I had 2 years of sobriety from alcohol, pot, and pills, but as soon as I was sober from those things, I gained 25 pounds and knew I had replaced alcohol with food. I then found a free, 12-step program for food addiction. There are only a few meetings in my area, but I have been in the program for over 13 years and have maintained my weight between 110-115 pounds the entire time. I am free from obsession with food and my body. It has truly changed my life! The website for the program is www.foodaddicts.org.
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