Treatment Center- For Sex Addiction

I would like to share information about a very helpful website and program my boyfriend has had success with for the sex, porn and masturbation addiction he has had for the past 38 years. He has been doing a recovery program at www.candeohealthysexuality.com that provides a wealth of information to educate everyone about the science of this addiction as well as a powerful and effective online recovery program. It also offers a support program for partners, family and friends to help them understand the addiction and learn how to support the addict properly. It can help take the judgment and emotion out of the situation to support a quicker recovery. There is also a good computer monitoring program at www.covenanteyes.com that works well in conjunction with the recovery program to help the addict become accountable for his or her online choices. My boyfriend also learned to meditate and did some meditation training programs that teach techniques and tools to work with our thoughts and minds. To learn more or find a meditation center near you, go to www.shambhala.org.

Just like drug addiction, sex, porn and masturbation addictions are chemical addictions, but to one's own body, rather than an external substance, which can make them very difficult to break free of and also more secretive. The high from the chemicals released in the body while masturbating to porn are the equivalent to a cocaine high. All addictions begin as stress-relieving behaviors that escalate to an unhealthy or dangerous level, going from the person controlling the behavior to being controlled by it. Addictions are a way to escape facing what is happening in one's life, and provide a way to "numb out" from the emotions, wounds or challenges one has experienced or is experiencing. This is the reason Shambhala meditation helps support recovery, because it is a practice of being present with whatever arises and learning to be with it, rather than running away, acting out, covering up, or zoning out. All pain and suffering comes from resisting what is. Many people enter into a spin cycle of extreme pleasure-pain-pleasure-pain that never ends, rather than finding a middle way that is healthier and happier. Most people do not want to face their emotions, wounds, truths and life issues. They find anything to distract themselves from reality~from the obvious addictive behaviors like drugs, alcohol, sex, to the less obvious ones of shopping, food, gossip, television, complaining/criticizing, video games, excessive talking, reading, sports (in the obsessive way), etc. People have a very hard time just being still, quiet, and present with themselves, their life, and others in a way that allows them to be with their own thoughts and feelings, to experience the simple beauty of life and the world without needing to embellish it or escape it. The desire to keep increasing the pleasure to a new level is the very thing that ultimately brings the person the deepest pain and despair when they find themselves helpless in the pit of addiction, unable to climb out. There is such an pronounced effort on people's part to "fill the void", unable to be in silence or alone with themselves, and filling the void with unhealthy behaviors is the most harmful way to not be present and temporarily check out of life.

Sex, porn and masturbation addictions are also second chakra issues, and can be the result of lack of or dysfunctional nurturing during childhood, sexual abuse, and other second chakra wounds or imbalances.

The most important first step is to know that you are worthy of a better life, feel compassion for yourself and your struggles and not judge, criticize or beat yourself up about it because that only keeps you stuck in a negative spin cycle, honor yourself by getting help and beginning a recovery program, and learn to love yourself exactly as you are. Everyone has challenges, so know that you are not alone in this. Addiction is a symptom of a huge systemic societal problem. Each person who heals from it, or supports someone else to heal, helps tip the scale toward a healthier world.

Candeo Healthy Sexuality
Covenant Eyes
Shambhala Meditation