| post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: January 13, 2015, 2:37 AM
This is my first time posting here but I'm not sure where else to turn for some advice without judgdment. Long story short, I began using drugs in my teens. Before I knew it, it was no longer recreational and I was using all day every day. This was the case for about 7 years. In 2007 I lost custody of my son because of my drug use (cocaine and weed daily, then pretty much everything else recreationally). I was ordered into drug abuse counseling and have not touched any hard drugs since. The only drug use I've had since then is marijuana, which I go spurts of a year or two at a time without using and then fall back into using again for a few months again and then quit again, etc. I haven't smoked weed in almost a year now. My concern is, I've always had dreams about using. When I have these dreams, I have always woke up terrified I had actually used. I never actually recovered from the pain of not having my child living with me and live in constant fear of losing the children I've had since so when I wake up and realize I'm still clean, I feel better. At least until recently. I've been having dreams about using every night and wake up feeling like I've just recently quit all over again. It's no longer fear I feel when I wake up, but longing to have actually done it. I do not associated with people who use because I know I don't have the strength to avoid it if it's around, so I will leave any situation in which I think it even might somehow come up. I just worry about my change of feelings over these dreams. I do not want to go back to that life, but I wake up missing the escape if that makes sense. Any advice?
| ||
Posts: 9
Joined: December 8, 2014
Posted: January 18, 2015, 5:03 AM
Please don't use ever again, you are doing really well, think of your children and yourself, nothing or any drugs are more important than your health and your child.
God is with you, us♡♡♡ | ||
Posts: 10
Joined: January 30, 2015
Posted: January 30, 2015, 5:39 AM
quitting is hard to do, it's all comes from motivation and your self alone. sending you prayers.
| ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: April 4, 2015, 4:00 PM
Everyone, it seems, has "drug dreams".
I've been clean for 21 years and every now and again one pops in my head. I am always trying to shoot heroin, my doc, and it's all about getting it, hiding it, then shooting it and I even sometimes get the needle in my arm and I'm pushing the plunger and then waiting for the drugs to hit me, I wake up. You are doing great, stay clean and be glad you are one of those who survived their addiction. Be a great mom and teach your kids at a young age drugs and alcohol are bad. This post has been edited by Granny2 3 on April 4, 2015, 4:02 PM -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
Posts: 6
Joined: May 1, 2015
Posted: May 1, 2015, 6:53 PM
That is amazing you are clean. Very proud. Maybe the dreams are good to remind you of how horrible it would be to relapse. Just a thought. Not a medical professional but just a reminder if how bad it feels to keep you clean. If they happen every night or often maybe see a doctor.
| ||
|
| post replypost new topic |